Its so interesting. With the exception of Anchal, almost all married folks are swinging one way, and with the exception of Gamma, Mad and Coco, the unmarried are saying another. :)
It may be that those of you who are not married, dearly protect your privacy and by the idea of separate bedrooms, are somehow clutching to the hope that you will escape life's major changes. Doesn't always work that way. Ofcourse, you also have to consider the expectations of your future spouse. And also, I believe, once you are exposed to the intimacy of married life, the "I want my own space" mantra somehow does not seem to matter that much.
The biggest test comes when u have kids. Babies make a lot of noise at night, and many fathers, find escape in a separate bedroom on the pre-text that "I have to go to the office in the morning, and so can't stay awake all night with the baby's noise". Mother dear is left to hug and kiss the baby all night. This really wouldn't matter to fathers who are heavy sleepers (who can sleep through a parade) but for light sleepers this can be a genuine problem (its embarassing to be yawning in the office all day).
On the other hand, I have known fathers who infact, request the wife to sleep and they love to take care of the baby at night because that is the only time they can do so (being busy at work all day).
I think it all comes down to what sort of person you are and what sort of life partner you get. There is no right or wrong answer here.
[This message has been edited by Pristine (edited March 29, 2002).]
Interesting comments everyone. I just wanted to add a few lines.
First, as Pristine says rightly, you need to do what's best.
Needs and priorities change. Often sleeping together is equated with sex in our society, and it's often presumed that if you don't share a bed at night that's not possible.
Sleeping arrangements can change along with teh ages of children and other factors. I know of couples who slept separately for years as long as the kids were small and needed to be with a parent at night, and then later on went on to rearranging things and having their own privacy. I know of couples who were driven to desperation by the other one's habits such as getting up and switching on the light because of insomnia and so opted for separate beds and bedrooms.
A shared bedroom for couples is still not the norm for many people - in villages and communes there tends to be either separation of the sexes or everybody sleeping together - and it's considered normal.
Having separate bedroom means cutting down on time that couples spend together. I don't like this idea.
Shirin you brought up an interesting point. And I have always wondered about it too. In villages people sleep separately. How do they get together? How do they do it?
Just wondering!
Sometimes separate bedrooms can be a life saver!!!
When I first got married, we shared the same bedroom, but after a year of little sleep, I just couldn’t take it(snoring, he wants a light and tv on, and I need complete quiet and dark to sleep.), so now we have separate bedrooms.
I don’t think we would still be together, if we had kept sharing the same room. I become totally evil if I don’t get enough sleep!!!