If luckykhan is taking the midol then baby's are the last thing that he will have to worry about.
^ and that too only if he is really lucky
Mehroo Aappi Salam 
To me Girl is selfish…no doubt I cant understand her feeling for that guy…bcos I ve never been in love…but still she is doing wrong…there must be somthing…that her parents r saying NO .I strongly belive in this thing…Parents jo karaty hai hamesha aachay kay liye kartay haaaaaaai…aur apnay bacho kay liye hamesha behtr faisal kartay hai ya karnay kee koshish kartay hai…woh alaida baat hai kay kabhi bura hota hai aur kabhi aacha yeh aap kee kismut…
That girl is not facing reality rite now…kabhi bhi koi apnay Ammi Papa ko dukh day kur khush nahi ho sakta…rite now her in laws r arranging her marriage…but later these in laws…will talk abt her in a bad way…os ko tanay dein…it will be difficult for them to give her respect as bahus get in their susral…shaid aap ko yeh lug raha ho Aappi kay mein bhuht puranay khayal kee larki ho…but Aapppi this is reality…and our culture..I ve seen so mod families..but evryone has this typical thinking…
and then later..when she will become a mother of a girl or a boy…then wat will she expect from her children??? wat will she tell them who is there grandparents..
anyway I still pray 4 her kay Allah osay hamesha khush rakhaaaay..Aameen…
mere dil kee baatein ker dee tum ne pkm :k: :k:
meri shweet c sis
Re: selfish ?
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*Originally posted by mehroo: *
i wonder ke kia aab wo itnay logoN ko hurt kar ke kya wo khush raah payee gee ? and the question is ke kia wo waqiee selfish hai jo sirf apni khushi ke liye kisi ki parwa nahi kar rahi ?
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^
Uski qismat mai jo likha hai wohi hoga..:)
You know what Mehroo, you're looking at this situation from only one angle...If you look at the other side of it, you will realize that both parents and daughter are equally stubborn except that, I think your cousin is doing the right thing by marrying a person of her own choice which is a sunnah of Hazrat Muhammed(saw)! Jahan tak parents ko naraz karne ki baat aati hai, aapke uncle aur auntie unreasonable hain kyunke aap khud keh rahi hain kay jis ladkay say woh shadi karrahi hai woh achi family say hai...Aur kia chahiye unhe?
Haan shayad woh shadi kay baad khush na rahay, shayad uskay susraal waale use taane den kay usne apne parents say na farmaani ki magar kia yeh sab uska hi kasoor hoga?? Don't you think if her parents support her, she will have a better future? her in-laws will give her more respect? Her parents know that she will marry that guy even if they don't support her then why be stubborn? why ruin her life? Why do they want others to point fingers at her and criticize her..?
Even if she treated her parents badly in the past it still doesn't mean her parents should take away her right to marry the guy of her choice..does it??
Parents ki duayen bohat zaroori hoti hain aise muamlaat mai isliye I hope kay aapke uncle aur auntie apna ghussa thook kar apni beti ki khushi mai shaamil hojayen. Hope everything goes well with their family!
Listen mehar,
this seems to b her parents problum, if the guys is nice , from good family then whats wrong, even the guys parents have no problum. wats going to happen is that they r goin to make a mess out of the situation, humiliate themselves and the girl and the guy and in the end going to get togather happily but thats going to leave a lot of gossip for the ppl to talk about for a long time and make life akward for the couple. so advice them that even if they dont want to do it , then do it only to stop the gossip and misry after wards.
No offense but desi mentality is such that once parents find out that their children (daughters in particular) like someone and want to marry the person they will do all they can to not let it happen. In the son's case it's like losing the battle even before it begins... if he already likes the girl she must be cunning thats why she trapped their son to begin with and the son will always favor the wife(atleast thats what most of them believe). In the daughter's case they have to keep their 'naak' intact and when people find out that the girl actually "liked" the guy that will cut the 'naak' off, based on the notion that they must have dated initially for the liking to take place to begin with! They make it a matter of ego in most cases. The moment they get a hint that their child is involved with some one they will hurry and get the kid married off in an arranged setting. And most desi parents love to make all sorts of decisions for their children anyway from choosing their schools/careers for them to how many kids they are going to have. So no it is not always for the childrens' good that they take such decisions.
Even in this case if the parents have no obvious reason for wanting their girl to not marry the guy of her choice. What I or you would do in such a scenario is besides the point... the girl has a right to stand up for herself and make her own decision.
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*Originally posted by Matsui: *
So the moral of the stories is to have a kid first then figure out the marriage business. This way the parents won't be such pain in the a$$es.
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Haha matty, the only problem... the poor child would be called a b@astard and tormented for the rest of his life like Roman is tormented when everyone calls him 'kaala tavvaa'
Re: Re: selfish ?
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*Originally posted by CurruptAngel: *
^
Uski qismat mai jo likha hai wohi hoga..:)
You know what Mehroo, you're looking at this situation from only one angle...If you look at the other side of it, you will realize that both parents and daughter are equally stubborn except that, I think your cousin is doing the right thing by marrying a person of her own choice which is a sunnah of Hazrat Muhammed(saw)! Jahan tak parents ko naraz karne ki baat aati hai, aapke uncle aur auntie unreasonable hain kyunke aap khud keh rahi hain kay jis ladkay say woh shadi karrahi hai woh achi family say hai...Aur kia chahiye unhe?
Haan shayad woh shadi kay baad khush na rahay, shayad uskay susraal waale use taane den kay usne apne parents say na farmaani ki magar kia yeh sab uska hi kasoor hoga?? Don't you think if her parents support her, she will have a better future? her in-laws will give her more respect? Her parents know that she will marry that guy even if they don't support her then why be stubborn? why ruin her life? Why do they want others to point fingers at her and criticize her..?
Even if she treated her parents badly in the past it still doesn't mean her parents should take away her right to marry the guy of her choice..does it??
Parents ki duayen bohat zaroori hoti hain aise muamlaat mai isliye I hope kay aapke uncle aur auntie apna ghussa thook kar apni beti ki khushi mai shaamil hojayen. Hope everything goes well with their family!
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u r 100% right ,i also belive on ke arrange marraiges bhi naakaam hoo saktin hain but in that case one have all the support from family , hai na ? jab ke in love marraiges our specially asse shadiiaN jiss meiN har kisi se laar jagar ke apni baat manwaie jaeey wahaN koi aap ko support nahi kartaa . i know parents are wrong as well aur now i think ke jab uss ki shadee ho he raahi hai thu unn ko aab at this time bara dil karnaa chahey , lets hope for the best ...abahi thu 2 weeks haiN naa shade ko maybe everything will be fine :)
Muskan very well said , that is also my point ke susraal meiN izzat is kinda important na our she wont get that respect there , now i dont know her in laws , never met them so i have no idea how they are like lakin mostly desi ppl assay he hotay hain ...bus lets hope ke wo log achay hoon .
I have read all the replies and here is my conclusion ( a lil different from Matsui's).
All those who agree with parents are people who live their lives worrying about "log kia kahaingay".
And others who agree with the girl are people who are bold enough to take a stand for what they believe in. They are aware of the consequences but the calls from their inner self are louder than the fake cries of "people" around them.
funguy what about ppl like me who takes sides of parents n girl at same time , am i confuse or what ? I know girl is right and somehow parents too , see we have to live in this soucitey naa and we have to face ppl around us , Log kya kaheen gaye , that is the problem , kionke hum ko inni logoN issi maashray meiN rahena hota hai , and abt girl , she have right to chose her life partner but as a pakistani girl i know abt all the problme one can get after marraige , hamari souciety mein jab eik larki ki shade hoti hai naa to it is not only the guy and girl but whole family is involved , hum family se kaat ke nahiN raah sakte and life Does change after marraige , jo bateen abahi achi lagti haiN baad meiN wohi buri lagti hai , bhuhut kuch dekhana our sochna parta hai .
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Parents jo karaty hai hamesha aachay kay liye kartay haaaaaaai.....aur apnay bacho kay liye hamesha behtr faisal kartay hai ya karnay kee koshish kartay hai....woh alaida baat hai kay kabhi bura hota hai aur kabhi aacha yeh aap kee kismut.....
PKM same is the case with everyones decision..."kabhi bura hota hai aur kabhi aacha yeh aap kee kismut", so why force your decision on someone else. Let them bear the consequences of their own decisions, atleast they won't be blaming others' for what happened to them. And when your life is ruined due to someone else i think it is more frustrating!
kabhi bhi koi apnay Ammi Papa ko dukh day kur khush nahi ho sakta
and vice versa
and then later..when she will become a mother of a girl or a boy...then wat will she expect from her children?????? wat will she tell them who is there grandparents..
She will tell them who the grandparents are!!! Grandparents don't change no matter what.
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*Originally posted by mehroo: *
...see we have to live in this soucitey naa and we have to face ppl around us , Log kya kaheen gaye , that is the problem , kionke hum ko inni logoN issi maashray meiN rahena hota hai .
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I follow a very simple rule when it comes to living among other people. There are just too many to please. They are all different. On the other hand, it is very easy and possible to do things that make me happy. This doesn't mean one should be insensitive to others. BUT you should NEVER let others dictate how you live your life. Because it is YOU who is gonna live it. Nobody is gonna come and suffer with you.
Also, do you really care for people who would say stuff regardless of what you do. For me, those people hold no respect. I may be sounding a bit insensitive and rude but it's not like that.
Would it be fair for the guy she marries other than the one she really loves?. She is ONLY being honest with her feelings. Parents DO NOT own their children. Bachay tau Allah ki amaanat hotay hain. You let them free once they become an adult.
What if the girl lives a miserable life after getting married to her parents' wishes?. Would you or "log" be there to suffer alongside her?.
No Funguy that's when the "Allah ki marzi" dialogue comes in along with the good-for-nothing tears and hai's and regret which does no good at all...kaash hum ne aisa na kiya hota, kaash waisa na kiya hota, kaash this and kaash that. And then the useless sympathy people dole out and make themselves feel noble for all the compassion they bear in their hearts. Sick.
And one more thing I wana add. I keep hearing that love marriages fail more often than arranged ones. Whats up with that?. I have known many couples who got married after falling in love and I am yet to see one fail. On the other hand, I know of a few arranged marriages that are still intact but only to please the "noble people" or "log". I mean these couples are so fed up with eachother that they don't realize when they get into arguments with eachother in front of those very "log" that they are trying to please. It is so embarrassing.
exactly...i totally agree with funguy...
mehroo aapi main nai apni family main hi aisay bohat couples dekhay hain ...this is ridiculous....aur aisay expeirences hoa hain k i don't believe in arrange marriages anymore....i simply hate it...:(