Some boys I know , think its quite selfish on the part of a girl to shortlist only those rishta’s where the boys are earning good , are well off , or are in professional careers …
but then i hear how can it be classed selfish, coz a girls entire future , even her future family (kids) future will largely depend on the man’s financial contributions to the family unit. If she chooses someone who lives hand to mouth , will she not be making a stupid choice?
boys argue that when they look for similar things in a girls’s rishta , they are classed as selfish monkeys … girls would probably say, yeah, because your life doesnt really depend on the girls earnings …
so are girls that look for an established , well off individual to marry ,selfish?
When guys are out of college and till 28 they are still trying to get settled with jobs and career choice. This is the struggling phase. If the girl rejects him at this time, it's her loss cause the guy "could" be a hardworking guy.
I don't think it's selfish. Or even if it is selfish, I don't think it's wrong. If she demands that all his money be spent on her and her family, then that would be selfish (and wrong). Besides, in the marriage process, the girl/her family have to think of what's best for her.
I think of it as an equity market instrument (common share).
Consider two scenarios..
1) When the company is doing well, you have to pay premium prices. So a rich dude can ask for a lot (beauty, education etc) to match his market price.
2) If you can not (or will not) invest in a start up company that has a strong management and potential to grow, you could be missing out on a lot. If the dude is not rich, but has decent education and the potential to go ahead, but the girl does not chose him for not being rich enough, it's her loss.
Having said that, life is uncertain, and neither good nor bad days last forever.
You need to evaluate yourself and determine what makes you happy in life. If being "well off" is a priority in your life then you should choose someone that is going to give that lifestle to you.
Girls looking for a rich dude is as shallow as guys looking for a super hot chick.
Tru. But i think if a guy worked really hard to be really rich, he deserves a really sexy chick to spend all his dosh on.
However some girls can be really selfish and only want 'the best' as in money property etc and the girls wont even have anything maybe a degree IF that.
I feel sorry for guys that end up with these girls.
I think its only right for the girl to be earning her own money and have her own stuff too if she wants a rich guy. Its only fair!!
I dont think there is something selfish in this. If we go buy even a thing as little as a mp3 player, we do research, make sure that we are getting best value for the money and that its reliable and what advantages does it has over other mp3 players. So when we can do it for this little thing, why not for husband? I mean you life depends on this.
To me main problem lies when people get it wrong. They dont look for potential of the guy and simply reject the rishtas based on current economic condition. IMO, selecting a suitable rishta is just like giving exam and each aspect has its own weight-age. Due importance should be given to family background, edication, financial condition and nature of a person.
One of my Rishta was rejected (by girl's mother) when I was in final semester of my masters program. Looks like her parents were unable to identify the "potential" and preferred the "current value" and long story short, the girl did not ended up having a good stable life later on although they selected a well settled guy who owned a "computer institute".
So parents and girls/guys should be careful in making these important decisions. While money is not the ONLY important thing, its ONE OF the important thing.
/\ you are right, but again wealth does not guarantee happiness, and by focusing too much on the wealth parameter, we often overlook the other criterion.
Some family I just happen to know, got their daughter married to a guy who used to drive a SLR Mclaren in London (yes, the $500,000 car). Apparently he had a fairly large business setup. Anyways, just a few months later it turned out that he had another wife, never sponsored his new wife, emotionally abused and after a lot of drama, divorced her after 2-3 years of marriage.
lol! .. no, it's not that. There are some genuinely decent rich families and individuals out there. BUT... I went to school with the children of some of the richest individuals in Pakistan and can tell you a couple of things that i've noticed
a) A born rich dude* generally * has a very flawed concept of loyalty in a relationship. They'd claim they love their spouse/gf, and yet be having flings outside.
b) They place a very shallow or ceremonial value on religion
Guys the original question wasnt about the extremes ... Say a middle class family , which usually gets rishta's from middle class families ... they are hardly very rich people .... Most of them are working class that are earning average salaries ...
Its just the careers that one chooses , that ultimately show potential ... For example , someone gets a rishta of a sales guy and a MBBS final year doctor , the parents will probably just go for the doctors rishta .... because they know their daughter will have a better and a secure life with him as compared to the sales guy , who may even be out of a job every few months when he's performing badly !
