What to do about a self absorbed sibling who only cares for himself and his own immediate family. Doesn’t make any effort with any of the other siblings or take any interest in their lives. It’s just always about him and showing off about how great his life is. He has done very well for himself but has become very materialistic and snobby. Should the parents be told and asked to intervene or just let him be because nothing will change?
Re: Self absorbed sibling
Considering you want the health & fitness freaks to answer… Fresh air, exercising and a healthy diet will not only keep your mind healthy but will also occupied which will motivate you to do something constructive for yourself in your life instead of worrying about the sibling who’s doing good in life and upset your parents with your negativity and frustration.
Re: Self absorbed sibling
Wrong forum was open. Moderators please move?
Re: Self absorbed sibling
Invest only as much time and energy on him as he has earned.
Let him be. Nothing will change. Above all, don’t have your parents intervene. If you have seen this behavior, so have they. Parents know their children. Maybe they have tried some intervention in private. Or they have accepted reality.
In my opinion, your feelings are rational. But nothing you can do about the situation except focus on yourself and others who have a healthier attitude than your sibling. Good luck.
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I had the same problem.. I wouldn’t be fussed about him not showing much interest in my life though.. It’s more a problem is he interferes or actually causes trouble..
This should be in Life1 btw..
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Yeah maybe we shouldn’t care. Just makes us sad that when our parents are gone there will probably be no relationship because no one likes or respects him.
Re: Self absorbed sibling
Do your parents know that he is self-absorbed? Has he been this way since childhood or did it happen in adulthood after he attained professional/material success?
If your parents are not that aware of his behavior, then I think you can request them to talk to him…but they should do it “without” mentioning the name of the other siblings so that he doesn’t think that the others complained about him.
If your brother still has regard for his parents, then maybe their words will have a good influence on him. Or maybe you and your siblings can gently tell him that they feel he has distanced himself from the family and that they’d like to see more of him at family events etc. Do it in a non-accusatory way…so he doesn’t get defensive. If you tell him that he’s arrogant or selfish or thinks he’s better than everybody else…I think it might shut him off toward everyone.
May your parents live a long and happy life (Amin)…but I don’t think that they’d want their kids to develop a grudge towards one another after they have passed away…just as they wouldn’t want this while they are still alive. I know it’s easier said than done…but try to remain in touch with this self-absorbed sibling from your end at least…even if he doesn’t reciprocate. He’s more likely to one day realize the error of his ways if the rest of you remain on good terms with him. If you and your other siblings distance yourself from him…them sometimes that will push someone who already has a big ego…even further away.
Re: Self absorbed sibling
You can tolerate them, you can change your friends but not your blood relations. :cobra:
Re: Self absorbed sibling
I would let him be assuming he’s an adult? But …
You as a sibling will need to see him so remain calm and civi. Have you tired to do things with him one on one? such as a coffee outing or dinner…Step up and see whats really going on with him, perhaps he’s looking for attention, we tend to show off because we want to be praised, maybe he feels alone and only thing makes him feel better is whats within his reach i.e materialistic things?
Don’t get the parents involved – Give this a try yourself and see where it takes you.
All the best.
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Why not? Is he obsessed with himself or actually hurtful/cruel toward others?
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Maybe he’ll change if/when he realises people don’t want to be around him.. It’s already happening in my brother’s case..
Re: Self absorbed sibling
Thread moved from health and fitness
Re: Self absorbed sibling
Depends. I’ve seen relos become more distant toward people who decide they’ve had enough of their attitude and choose to keep away. Seems like it will either make them realize they’re mistakes or make them defensive.
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^True.. some people change, some don’t..
Re: Self absorbed sibling
You and your other siblings + parents can try sitting down with him and tell him that his actions are bothering you all. Communication helps!
If after he still acts the same way, ignore for a good while and he’ll come round to his senses. Hopefully.
Re: Self absorbed sibling
Leave him to his self is the best what you can do.
He’s grown up enough to not hear anything anyone has to say to him so that is pointless.
If he’s not aware of his responsibilities as a brother and not doing much about it. Fate will hit him sooner or later. And he’s gonna run back towards everything he doesn’t care at the moment.
But if you’d talk to him about this matter he’s going to respond badly, he must have his reasons, he’s young, lost and proud.
But these things settle down eventually. Even if he doesn’t change he’ll know for sure what he has been doing when he’ll be old.
He’s gonna regret that for sure. Materialism is one of the worst things that can happen to a human being.
I will pray for him!
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who cares…honestly, what I have seen in life is that parents and children are 1st degree relatives, while siblings and uncles/aunts are second degree relatives. People always prefer their parents and then their siblings, but once they have children, then the siblings go to third place. This is natural I guess. My parents are both social and nice people…but both probably talk to their siblings less than once a month. It is better when even if conversation fades, you actually like your sibling…but hey if not, you can let your sibling know (in a sad voice), that you think they’ve changed and you miss the old times…maybe post some tbt pics online to make their memory come alive…but if not, dafa karo they suck
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Same thing I do about my highly self-absorbed dad - just accept it
thats who they are and always will be, you can’t change them. the best way to overcome a situation like this is to take over. when it became clearly obvious that my dad didn’t care enough to behave like the man of the family i stepped up and became the man of the house. i never asked him for any money any more, i made my own. never asked him for his decision because he’d always say ‘i don’t care’ anyway so we made the decisions ourselves.
he was still living in the house but we were the ones being the dad, running the place. when he finally woke up he realised how much he hated it, made him feel very small and like he didn’t belong and he tried desperately to take over again but it didn’t work - his children are far more in control now than him. but hes got no one to blame but himself
never get upset about situations like that - always look for the opportunity. if someone isn’t being a leader then thats great - means there is an opening for a leader and you can be the one who steps up and takes that job!
Re: Self absorbed sibling
Only parents can knock any sense to the sibling…
my parents are dead, so in my case, I just had to walk away… ;-(