ON CLOTHES
I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does
moisture ruin leather? Aren’t cows outside a lot of the time? When it’s
raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, “Let us in! We’re all wearing
leather! Open the door! We’re going to ruin the whole outfit here!”
TRAVELING
Are there keys to a plane? Maybe that’s what those delays are
sometimes, when you’re just sitting there at the gate. Maybe the pilot sits up there in the cockpit going, “Oh, I don’t believe this. Dammit..I did it again.” They tell you it’s something mechanical because they don’t want to come on the P.A. system, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’re going to be delayed here on the ground for a while. I uh..Oh, God this is so embarrassing…I, I left the keys to the plane in my apartment. They’re in this big ashtray by the front door. I’m sorry, I’ll run back and get them.”
Jerry: “I still can’t believe you’re going out on a blind date.”
Elaine: “I’m not worried. It sounds like he’s really good looking.”
Jerry: “You’re going by sound? What are we, whales?”
:k: