Secrets for a Happy Marriage

Received on email from a friend…

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.

  1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

  2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in New York.

  3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

  4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

  5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

  6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric breadmaker. Then she said, “There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.

  7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, “In the lake.”

  8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn’t lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!

  9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

  10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?” The driver said, “No, jump in!”

Jolly good. Passed on to many friends

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Male Chauvanistic *****'s

MS