Re: Second wife.
^I completely agree with both Muniya and Afro-Sheen- points well made!!
Re: Second wife.
You discuss that if woman cant giveher husband a child he might be able to remarry but what if the man is the one with the problem and because of him you cant have kids??
Re: Second wife.
At my wedding the khutba of nikah was about permissibility of 4 wives in Islam. All the women were so mad and the men were looking at the floor. I am sure that this moulvi sahab was never invited for performing another nikah ceremony.:)
WHy would he not be invited .. and why women were mad and men were ashamed ..
Its not that Maulvi shaab invented the islam
so is it right to assume that men were ashamed of Islam and women were mad at islam ..
Maulvi sahab just discussed a sunnat , a privilage given to men, something which is considered taboo to discuss for God knows what reasons ...
did he commit any sin in discussing that ?
Re: Second wife.
You discuss that if woman cant giveher husband a child he might be able to remarry but what if the man is the one with the problem and because of him you cant have kids??
Then you are allowed to get a divorce ..
A lady came to prophet and and hold a corner of her shawl in such a way that about 6-7 inch of cloth hanging out from the other side of her fist ..
she showed that hanging part to Prophet as an example of how limp her husband's sexual organ is ... and asked for divorce on the basis of that
she was given permission by prophet...
Allah SWT gave us sexual desires and a halal way to take care of that ..
having second wife might be a social and financial burden for a guy .. now a days ...
but the reason it is allowed is still the same as it was 1500 years ago
Re: Second wife.
^^ I think its more about him not discussing it at an appropriate time. Why didn't the maulvi saab talk about what a good husband Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was? Why didnt he do the age old -- mian biwi eik doorai ka libaas hai speech? Why this particular topic?
And may i point out that Islam is a living religion meant to be applied to current days. In doing so --- back when the 4 wives rule was created there were a large amount of widows due to the wars in the name of Islam; basically for every one man - there were four women. And hence the four wives.. in current day there are no holy wars and the number of widows isn't above "norm" and even if it is there are only two women for each man.
Re: Second wife.
TLK is right that the concept of 4 wives is allowed in Islam therefore we should not reject it, rather accept it as we accept the other Islamic guidelines.
I guess at the Nikah Mirch talked about, probably the new bride may have felt that such a khutba was out of place as on the day of her wedding, the last thing she wants to be reminded of is that her husband can go and marry 3 more. It's a reality but sadly, a little tough for us women to swallow. It was definitely not his fault or any man's fault that Islam has allowed this but there is a right place and right time to discuss things.
Women don't reject what is allowed in Islam. How can we if we call ourselves true muslims? And it is nobody's fault.
Re: Second wife.
And may i point out that Islam is a living religion meant to be applied to current days. In doing so --- back when the 4 wives rule was created there were a large amount of widows due to the wars in the name of Islam; basically for every one man - there were four women. And hence the four wives.. in current day there are no holy wars and the number of widows isn't above "norm" and even if it is there are only two women for each man.
So having 2 wives should be OK now ...
I beg to differ Muniya .. Islam is a set ruled religion .. just like if all the men die tomorrow but very few .. and there is a ratio of 1 men to 1000 women .. all of a sudden, men would not be allowed to marry 1000 women .. it will still be 4 wives ..
Islam was completed on the day of last Khutba .. you cannot add or delete things now
Ijmaa is required only where the Shariat's rule is not very clear .. you cannot alter clear rules
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Dude I personally dont believe in the need for more then on life partner -- man or female.
BUT Islam did change -- we didn't always read 5 namazs did we?
But khair -- you're point well taken.
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BUT Islam did change -- we didn't always read 5 namazs did we? .
I dont know what you mean by that ?
Khair anyway .. having 4 wives is sunnat .. but not a required sunnat .. its just an option
Husband/wife die at different time .. If I die before my wife , I would love to have her go and re-marry .. cause I want someone to take care of her and kids (if kids are small)
As for me, foget about her living .. even if god forbid she leaves the world before me .. I dont need another life partner ..
As I said, second wife is an option given to men ... lets not deny that ... but for most of the part , there is no need to practice that either
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Post # 25 and 26 are right on the money. That is what I am trying to imply. I mentioned that story of my Nikah , just to make this heavy subject a little light.
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My points exactly - Just like you dont want to deny that 4 wives is and option I dont think its right the way men use this as an excuse to get a younger wife or whatever.
And my comment was meant to say that Pr. M (PBUH) himeslf changed Islam.
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exactly!!!
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My points exactly - Just like you dont want to deny that 4 wives is and option I dont think its right the way men use this as an excuse to get a younger wife or whatever.
fact is this muniya .. that sexual drive is the only reason why it was allowed .. every other reason (men/women ratio, no child from first wife, a widow or divorcee needs protection) is just being defensive about this clause ..
As unfortunate as it sounds, if a man wants to go for second marriage just because he wants another outlet to fulfil his sexual desire, he is allowed to do that .. and he does not even need permission from first wife ..
Only thing he will be judged upon in that case is whether he treated them equally (not loved them equally, just treated them equally).
I knw that in this day and age .. it sounds unfair (even to us, men) but if it is there , it is there .. what can one do about it
Re: Second wife.
fact is this muniya .. that sexual drive is the only reason why it was allowed .. every other reason (men/women ratio, no child from first wife, a widow or divorcee needs protection) is just being defensive about this clause ..
As unfortunate as it sounds, if a man wants to go for second marriage just because he wants another outlet to fulfil his sexual desire, he is allowed to do that .. and he does not even need permission from first wife ..
Only thing he will be judged upon in that case is whether he treated them equally (not loved them equally, just treated them equally).
I knw that in this day and age .. it sounds unfair (even to us, men) but if it is there , it is there .. what can one do about it
restraint and sabr are also part of human nature...i dont see that being glorified.. :)
what a load of ****
btw...women and men have equal sex drives..its a myth that men have a greater one...
men (in general) are lazy and cant get over themselves...
Re: Second wife.
[quote]
As I mentioned earlier, Qur’an is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says ‘marry only one’. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Qur’an:
"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one."
[Al-Qur’an 4:3]
Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals justly with them.
In the same chapter i.e. Surah Nisa verse 129 says:
"Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women...."
[Al-Qur’an 4:129]
Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception.
[/quote]
-Zakir Naik
See Allah Taala did allow man to marry four only if they could treat them equally and right after that verse it says "Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women.." implying "hence dun marry more than one."
Re: Second wife.
Husband/wife die at different time .. If I die before my wife , I would love to have her go and re-marry .. cause I want someone to take care of her and kids (if kids are small)
As for me, foget about her living .. even if god forbid she leaves the world before me .. I dont need another life partner ..
I don't think your wife will EVER marry anyone else. She is quite capable of managing herself. How do you think she could even imagine having another man in her life. NEVERRRRRRRRRR! No one could ever replace you, in anyway. Topic closed.
As for you, TLK, did anyone mention to you what a gentleman you are? May Allah bless you as you are a wonderful husband and father. May you be blessed with a healthy long life. I pray that all women are blessed with the security your wife has.
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^..is he by anychance your husband?
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Re: Second wife.
***I think your Signature says it all..............
Second Wife:***.............."Mirch" can be very irritating if you are not careful. It can be the best thing to spice up your life...............:biggthumb
Re: Second wife.
