Re: second-wife
Men and women are mature enough when they are married to adjust themselves in most cases or at least they can compromise a bit to live in this dual-wife scenario. So if some girl has preferred a married man, then she must have considered every thing before she made her decision. As for Wali, it is a long discussion and may never end up. Parents must feel bad for it, but it is not something very unsual, so they can try to concentrate on other things and accept what has happened. There is usually no way back in thi sWorld.
In this case the women (1st and 2nd) and their husband can all adjust some how. This scenario affects the children most. In a dual-wife scenario, if man will spend his time with one wife, then the children of other will definitely miss him and feel unattended. This can lead to negative behavior at some stage in life. Many women have a tendency to use their kids, somehow, to please their husbands. This thing makes the kids feel unique as they are loved and listened by every one. If kids don't get their father one day, in most cases, they can blame themselves for it, thus things can be worst. This thing can be harmful for them as well.