Asalaam Alaikum, I wanted to know, is it valid to write in ur marriage contract that you do not want your husband to acquire a second wife, unless you give the consent?
i guess you can have it signed in a pre-nuptial agreement.
although even if it was not written in a pre-nup, he needs to be get your permission and be able to provide equally for both wives (separate houses etc) and treat both wives well and equally.
sadly some of the men who choose to go down that path use the fact that religion allows it, while ignoring the conditions and pre-requisites.
Realistically, how big of a problem is it. Of anyone and everyone I know, I only know of 2 ppl who had more than one wives, both are dead now. Dont know anyone like that now.
P.S. logically, if you have a real concern that yer hubby to be may get a second wife, why even go through with it? find someone more on your wavelength.
Re: Second Wife
I don’t think so. One cannot put condition on what Allah (swt) has given leave to.
Islam permits the Muslim man to have up to, but no more than four wives. If he does not feel that he can be just and fair between several women, he is instructed to have only one. He must consider his ability to:
- Devote his time equally between the wives.
- Provide separate living quarters for each wife in a way that matches the general standards of the surrounding community.
- Financially provide food and clothing and shelter for all women (and children produced as a result).
- He should also be aware of and prepared for the natural jealousies in women.
And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice. Al-Ma’idah 5:5
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down . Hadith - Sunan of Abu Dawood #2128, Narrated Abu Hurairah, (r.a.)
A second scholarly opinion, that of Jamal Badawi is given here
Ah.. I was searching more and found it
The Hanafi and Shafie fiqhs apparently stipulate that a clause that a man will not marry a second wife can be put in the marriage contract. However, if the man breaks the condition, the only consequence is that the original downry (mahr) that he paid to her is deemed invalid, and he must pay it to her once more. His violating the condition cannot be deemed sufficient to break the contract as marrying a second woman is a right from God that cannot be forfeited.
On the other hand, the Maliki (and presumably Hanbali, since the article suggest this to be the view of Ibn Taymiyyah too) fiqh holds that such a condition contract would enable to wife to file for the termination of the marriage should the husband take on a second wife.
mad scientist 2- ibn sadique -0
If I remember correctly, (this means don't quote me on it) according to the law of Pakistan, you need to have the first wife(s) consent to marry another; off course not exceeding four. What it doesn't have is the women's right to divorce if she is unhappy with the marriage for the sole reason of having a sotan.
From my readings and understanding, it should be the other way around.
The Quranic verses that talk about polygamy, only warn the man about its complexities and the requirement to be just. Quran also suggests the man that if he is unsure about his abilities to be just, he should stay on the safer side and stick to one. There is no legal requirement mentioned having consent from the first wife(s). Though, common sense dictates that in the society and culture we live in, consulting the first wife would make life easier in the future.
Now, to argue in women rights for ease of getting a divorce is something I cannot stress enough. I do not know why in all Islamic countries of today, it’s a nightmare for a woman to get a divorce. Often it’s either required that she secures her right to divorce in the ‘Nikkah Nama’ else it will be deemed waived or something horrible like domestic violence can be the only justification for her getting a divorce. While a man enjoys the freedom of giving his wife a divorce instantly, with no ifs and buts asked. It’s outrageous and so inhumane that it boggles my mind.
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*Originally posted by Fraudz: *
mad scientist 2- ibn sadique -0
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It's no game Fraudz. I have a lot of respect for Ibn Sadique and all that he did was to post the viewpoint of the Hanafi fiqh, generally the most prevalent school of thought in Pakistan amongst those who adhere to the concept of following a single fiqh.
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*Originally posted by ahmadjee: *Now, to argue in women rights for ease of getting a divorce is something I cannot stress enough. I do not know why in all Islamic countries of today, it’s a nightmare for a woman to get a divorce. Often it’s either required that she secures her right to divorce in the ‘Nikkah Nama’ else it will be deemed waived or something horrible like domestic violence can be the only justification for her getting a divorce. While a man enjoys the freedom of giving his wife a divorce instantly, with no ifs and buts asked. It’s outrageous and so inhumane that it boggles my mind.
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Ahmedjee, a marriage in Islam can end in either divorce (talaq) or nullification (khulla).
The difference is that in a divorce, the wife gets financial compensation (through being allowed to keep the mahr), in nullification the man gets financial compensation through receiving back the mahr.
You're correct that it is more difficult for a woman to initiate a divorce in Islam. On the other hand, it is supposed to be easy (though cultural factors have made it difficult) for her to initiate a nullification.
Essentially, the system works out such that which ever party initiates the end of a marriage does not have any form of financial gain from the termination.
I humbly acknowledge & admire brother Mad Scientist’s superior knowledge compared to that of mine.
Ibn saqdique and maddie
Thank you for taking my lil bit of humour earlier lightly :) I had been reading up on premier league scores before posting here :D
asalaamalaikum guys..sorry for not replying quick enuff..so bak to this mess, alright..Allah swt says that in order to take another wife, u gotta be treatin both wives the same, emotionally, financially, etc bagerah. this means, that both wives will be happy living together, and one will not feel like she is being neglected. how can u do that, when most women have a natural tendency to feel jealousy and resentment. this is why u musttttt ask ur wife, before u put urself and her in a tight situation, where ur not respecting her wishes, and she is feeling like she is being treated to a lesser degree, which is not Sunnah. in conclusion, ASK BEFORE YOU GO AT IT AGAIN!!!! RIGHT GUYS!! damn..im so smart..see..all it takes is a little thinking, most guys interpret the whole thing where u can marry without her permission wrongly, cuz their only doing it for their own well being and not thinking of their wife, when u interpret the Quran in not so selfish way, you get great results!!! Right????? Where ma sistaz at??
due to current customs and traditions now in 21st century we all dis-agree @ this beatuiful act of marrying more then 1nce, idea not to give premission 4rm girls are
may be they will loose thier rights
most parents dont want thier daughters to be 2nd wife?
we dont look around us?? what is the idea of marrying more then 1 wife according to religion? plz only girls reply...
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Originally posted by muazzam: *
**what is the idea of marrying more then 1 wife according to religion? plz only girls reply...
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*
Maybe, if there is a situation where the first wife is unable to conceive children. This is not a scholarly opinion, just my own humble thought.
Razea, that was a really good question. A little over a year ago, I found the following article on soundvision.com:
http://www.soundvision.com/info/weddings/prenuptial.asp
I asked someone back then and he told me that he thought it absurd and totally unIslamic. Since then, I’d never had to chance to ask anyone else with extensive knowledge in the area whether or not the drafting/drawing/introduction of such a contract/prenuptial agreement is okay-ed in Islam (never had any reason to wonder before, actually). I’m a little curious now since I know of a couple who are to be married soon and the bride brought up some concerns she had relating to this.
Btw, I hope I’m not going off-topic here.
Edited: May I request that this post be ignored/deleted? mAd_ScIeNtIsT’s already answered this question.
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*Originally posted by muazzam: *
may be they will loose thier rights
most parents dont want thier daughters to be 2nd wife?
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If the correct conditions are met, according to islamic law this should not happen, as all wifes are to be treated equally, no wife need to take a backseat.
Reason some polygamous marriges are unhappy is highly likely due to cultural influences.
Thanks for the info guys, I understand it now, and also, yeah u can delete this thread if u want or wutever, the question has been pretty much answered.
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Originally posted by Nadia_H: *
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Maybe, if there is a situation where the first wife is unable to conceive children. This is not a scholarly opinion, just my own humble thought.
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i don't think this is the reason, if there is a reason at all.....because in equal frequency of the cases it's a problem within the male that the couple doesn't have children
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Originally posted by Nadia_H: *
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Maybe, if there is a situation where the first wife is unable to conceive children. This is not a scholarly opinion, just my own humble thought.
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thanx alot nadia that reason i mentioned that is 2 get reply like this that is one of the reason for 2nd marriage.. but again all the rights need to be fulfilled
^this is a strange reason. Because the equality between men and women argument can bring against it why cannot a women marry for the second time if the male cannot conceive children?