I’ve come across this quite a bit and always found it a bit disturbing.. When it was my brother’s time my mum would say ‘no’ to girls without my brother knowing anything (usually for looks which is quite ironic as he was never attracted to the girls my mum picked out anyway) and conversely one of my cousins from Pak was being chased by a guy’s mum who told her she will end up as her DIL and then a few months down the line it all came out that the son had no clue what was going on and when he did find out the answer was a ‘no’
I can understand in the old days kids generally did go along with whoever their parents picked but why would ppl still act like this nowadays?? Esp when personal lives are so much more complicated and it’s not unlikely that the son or daughter has already met someone from college/uni/work? Don’t the parents realise it can lead to a huge mess and a lot of embarrassment?
Re: Searching for or rejecting rishtas without kids knowing
since you are so smart enough that you know your parents have a lack of realization as to how much they actually know you, why dont you tell them yourself mom dad im going to college now so i can find someone on my own so you may not need to worry about me and finding me a husband/wife.
so instead of complaining your how come your parents dont magically know what going on in your head, might as well tell them and avoid huge mess and lot of embarrassment
I've come across this quite a bit and always found it a bit disturbing.. When it was my brother's time my mum would say 'no' to girls without my brother knowing anything (usually for looks which is quite ironic as he was never attracted to the girls my mum picked out anyway) and conversely one of my cousins from Pak was being chased by a guy's mum who told her she will end up as her DIL and then a few months down the line it all came out that the son had no clue what was going on and when he did find out the answer was a 'no'
I can understand in the old days kids generally did go along with whoever their parents picked but why would ppl still act like this nowadays?? Esp when personal lives are so much more complicated and it's not unlikely that the son or daughter has already met someone from college/uni/work? Don't the parents realise it can lead to a huge mess and a lot of embarrassment?
Re: Searching for or rejecting rishtas without kids knowing
since you are so smart enough that you know your parents have a lack of realization as to how much they actually know you, why dont you tell them yourself mom dad im going to college now so i can find someone on my own so you may not need to worry about me and finding me a husband/wife.
so instead of complaining your how come your parents dont magically know what going on in your head, might as well tell them and avoid huge mess and lot of embarrassment
Well smarter than you.. If you could actually read properly you would have noticed that I've mentioned plenty of times on the forum I'm already attached so this has nothing to do with me..
Re: Searching for or rejecting rishtas without kids knowing
I get your point and i agree with you.
my khala chose her DIL and even ask for rishta without even informing my cousin..when the girl side said yes then she inform my cousin..beta hum ne tumhara rishta kardiya..my cousin reject it and it cause a big drama in the family as the girl was cousin of my cousin.
Re: Searching for or rejecting rishtas without kids knowing
^But doesn't seem you would reject a guy for not being *your **idea of attractive even if you knew he was what your daughter might like? Of course parents have the right to reject for *valid reasons (eg he is not financially stable or has a bad reputation) but some parents can and do abuse the process.. Also, am sure u mentioned before that your daughter knows and is ok with you searching for her and you're taking into account her needs and wishes..
Re: Searching for or rejecting rishtas without kids knowing
Finalising a rishta without the son/daughter knowing -
“Investigating” a rishta without the son/daughter knowing - perfectly fine imo. Honestly, the amount of aunties that stalk you - I don’t even want to know.
Re: Searching for or rejecting rishtas without kids knowing
my friends dad keeps rejecting rishtas because the guys aren't up to his standards re personality...my friend's awesome but she's one of those ppl who has a pretty moldable personality and doesn't really need anything in particular...and she's been happy with the rishtas...hence its been 4 yrs and shes still single...
Re: Searching for or rejecting rishtas without kids knowing
dude read my post its not for you
lol
Well smarter than you.. If you could actually read properly you would have noticed that I've mentioned plenty of times on the forum I'm already attached so this has nothing to do with me..
Re: Searching for or rejecting rishtas without kids knowing
Yeah, cos it's so easy to put a stop to something you don't even know your parents are doing..
It's common sense that a parent should check their child actually wants to get married (and is ok with them finding a partner) before running around making plans for them or even saying 'yes' to the other family without their consent..
Re: Searching for or rejecting rishtas without kids knowing
my friends dad keeps rejecting rishtas because the guys aren't up to his standards re personality...my friend's awesome but she's one of those ppl who has a pretty moldable personality and doesn't really need anything in particular...and she's been happy with the rishtas...hence its been 4 yrs and shes still single...
