im not one for slapping my kid… in her 2 years of itsy bitsy life, she has got the the thappar about 4 times.. and everytime i have felt really bad about it
she’s not a bad kid… she doesnt play up too much and most times the thappar has been laid cus of pressure from surroundings or my own exhaustion. Which are very very very lame excuses for my thappars
Over the weekend, she has developed this habbit of licking the sofa :halo: its utterly disgusting. She did get a thappar from me due that cus she thought it was halarious to see me go nuts at her… she thought it was a joke.
She did the same thing at a relos house.. this relo doesnt have kids. But that aint the point… the thing is, she was bored and wanted to grab attention. She was perfectly fine half an hour earlier playing at her cousins place… khair, i had to resort to grabbing her tightly and scolding her. This is after distracting her many many times. She stopped the licking pretty much straight away… but it was everything else. She wanted to rock her cousin in the bouncer, but the cousins mama didnt want her to.. so i was just going nuts..
sometimes, that bugs me too. I shall write about this later..
khair..
how do i scold her? my heart just aches when i grab her tightly and she is trying to look away from my gaze. I think she has finally realised mama’s gaze is not a good thing… hence she doesnt even look me in the eye!
thing is, she is not a naughty or hyperactive kid at all. The sofa licking is the only ‘damaging’ thing she has started.
She only kept doing it because you must have reacted pretty strongly to it initially.
She's still too young, and I wouldn't get too harsh with her.
Also this might be the start of "the terrible twos", and if you start getting angry every time she tests you , she might get "dheet".Right now , I would only react if she is doing something that might hurt her or anybody else, other wise I'd just let some stuff go.( assuming you are at your place, but if visiting someone else , you'd have to be on her like you were).it will get better i'A.
Try and ignore it the next times she does it, and after a couple of times , "licking the sofa" will lose it's appeal for her.
^ The only time ive ever laid a hand on her in public is when she slapped a kid twice and the parents were looking at me to do something... i mean, she was 1.5 at that age... she was intimidated and jealous. But parents shouldnt put u on a spot like that. I can only distract her. It was very wrong of me... aaaagh
and the licking sofa thing, i only laid a very small thappar on her face (which was at home and after 10min of scolding). Wont ever do that in public. Actually, no, i wont ever thapparise her again
my heart just acccccchhhhes. She gives me the sobby look and i just melt..
Mashallah se she's a very good kid. I know she was only doing it for attention. But she better never do it again
Say 'no', take her away from the situation, and let her spend a couple of minutes on a "bad boy" chair. (so named because my son used it sooo much more often than my girls, lol). She is licking because she is getting a reaction from you and thinks it's funny. I would ignore the sofa licking - she'll soon get tired of it when she sees it doesn't bother you. You need to punish here when and where you catch her, not later at home.
I agree with amana. I swatted my middle son once or twice on the diaper because he was so very strong willed and that was all it took to help him realize who's the boss here. After that, we stuck to "naughty chair" time-outs (1 minute per year - age 2 gets 2 minutes, age 3 gets 3 minutes) and they have to sit quietly till the timer goes off or the timer gets re-set. OR early bedtime or take away a privelege or toy for the rest of the day.
Perhaps with your girl, the next time she licks the couch, have her take a cloth and "wash" the couch then tell her that for the rest of the day she cannot go near the couch at all. And STICK to it! Make her sit on the floor, anywhere but the couch.
amana, no i dont scold her for things later at home... she was licking the sofa at home (before doing it at someone's house) and thats where she received the slap. I didnt slap her outside...
I know she is just testing my patience... i will try what you guys are doing.
So far, other than the sofa licking, she has been Mashallah a good kid. I think its just the terrible 2's... i guess. I'd rather her be an active kid then someone who doesnt do anything.... but behave
sadzzz..... as others have suggested, you need to start using 'time-outs' as a means of communication and for to begin understanding that actions have consequences. Slapping is not the answer at all. If she licks the sofa, put her in time out for 2-3 mins. If she cries, let her cry. She needs to begin learning that bad behavior will have a penalty. Getting a rise out of you amuses her. So letting yourself get angry is only going to make things worse. Take away her favorite toy for an extended period of time if she keeps up bad behavior. The thing is, you have to really observe your daughter and figure out what makes her tick. Then, as form of penalty for bad behavior, you have to chastise her in a way that makes her understand that when she does something bad, she gets punished in a way she doesn't enjoy. When she understands that, she'll begin to take your warnings seriously. For the time being, she is learning that she can continue misbehaving because although you give numerous warnings, you don't carry them out with a particular action. A slap, though a phyiscal punishment, teaches only obedience through fear. It does not properly teach actions and consequences, and it does not make a happy baby. So try other methods. Be creative. Take away toys, use time outs, put her in her crib for 3 mins as a time out, turn off tv... etc. Good luck.
Yeah, I use the turning tv off method quite often with her and that works like a charm.
Fortunately, I havent raised my hand too many times, but the sad thing is that i have.. which is really getting to me. I've promised myself it wont happen again. Inshallah
What's working these days is "mama is not ur friend anymore" which really makes her sad.. but i think thats really mean so im not going to use that anymore. I will adopt the naughty corner tactic. Let's see what happens if she plays up again..
i have a20month old and he's a handful...hitting his brother and sister, throwing things around....i have resorted to the naughty step which works....you have to be consistent with your approach though...give her a warning for bad behaviour and tell her she will go to the naughty step/corner/chair if she does it again, if your warning does not work, pick her up and take her to the time out spot.....you have to be consistent, she might moan or cry but you need to ignore it....its for her own good
good luck
^
kasam sai..i still remember that look:bummer: but for a 2 yrs old its best to divert his/her attention.and involove them in some other activities.thapper ,scolding are asar proof now a days.
what i do is either turn the tv off or i go in another room as my daughter had a bad habbit of screaming for attention, that usually does the trick for me, even if were out and shes wants to walk in another direction i tell her mummy going, rather than shout at her or smacking her, i think this way she has realised that mommy doesnt like it when i scream.
My sister (Taurus of course) would misbehave and no time-out or loss of privilege would work so my mom smacked her on the butt. She said "THAT didnt hurt." My poor mom!!!
