So the latest psychological research (using speed dating, but I think the concept crosses over nicely to arranged marriages nicely) explains why in a successful arranged marriage, two people who never really new each other before can get married first and then fall in love.
Put simply, there is now evidence backed by scientific study that if you pretend and act like you are in love with someone, you are very likely to actually fall in love with them. So at the start of an arranged marriage, when two essentially strangers are going through the motions of acting like a romantic filmi couple… it’s likely to turn out that way.
Researchers found that behaving as if you find someone attractive increases your susceptibility to their charms.
The findings are the latest in a new line of thinking that suggests that behaviour can lead to emotions as much as the other way around.
The “positive action” technique could be used to not only accelerate feelings in new relationships but also rejuvenate them in older, existing ones.
The psychologist Professor Richard Wiseman tested the theory by holding a speed dating night in which some of the perspective partners role played that they were already in love with each other.
Instead of the usual uncomfortable conversation, they were encouraged to gaze into each other’s eyes, to touch hands and to whisper secrets.
Then at the end they were questioned as to how many of the people they met they felt close too and how many they would like to see again.
Under the normal speed dating behaviour, around 20 per cent of volunteers indicated that they wanted to see one another again but playing the psychological games more than doubled the success rate to 45 per cent.
ON a scale of one to seven of closeness, those role playing were a full point closer than those who did not.
“This is a remarkable finding,” said Prof Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire.
"Just as people feel happier when they force their face into a smile, so pairs of people behaving as if they find one another attractive became emotionally close.
"The assumption was that the emotion leads to the action or behaviour but this shows it can happen the other way around, action can lead to emotions.
“Behaving like you are in love can lead to actually falling in love. People are always going about positive thinking when this suggest positive action is just as valid.”
