Science Test
Here are some interesting interpretations of nature from test papers and essays submitted to science and health teachers by junior high, high school, and college students around the world.
“When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.”
“H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water”
“Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin.
Hydrogin is gin and water.”
“Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.”
“The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the
abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains
the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of
which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u.”
“The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects.”
“The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.”
“The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends
towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature
abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.”
“A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it
is.”
“Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.”
“For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart
stops.”
“For fainting: Rub the person’s chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above
the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest
medical doctor.”
“For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.”
“To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.”
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.