To run away would be in my eyes -a disgrace,and an act of weakness.
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Putting yourself first,stepping out of a relationship which has nothing to offer isn't a disgrace or an act of weakness
Why go through with arelation like that?...Just because u saw it in a movie? and the hero/heroine ended up looking like this great almighty compassionate figure?
So far Maddy's suggestion is the only one tht's made sense to me but still with tht too..getting a second wife,(who would most probably perfect in every aspect) How ar eu gonna keep the balance?
It will be obvious that the person will be drawn to the second wife since she has so much more to offer.Conflicts will arise once again...:)
Putting yourself first,stepping out of a relationship which has nothing to offer isn't a disgrace or an act of weakness
Why go through with arelation like that?...Just because u saw it in a movie? and the hero/heroine ended up looking like this great almighty compassionate figure?
So far Maddy's suggestion is the only one tht's made sense to me but still with tht too..getting a second wife,(who would most probably perfect in every aspect) How ar eu gonna keep the balance?
It will be obvious that the person will be drawn to the second wife since she has so much more to offer.Conflicts will arise once again...:)
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First of all we women can't have two husbands .Aur its not that I would think the marriage has nothing to offer.I think it all depends on how badly I wanted to be with him.If I loved him...and wanted to spend my life with him...then who cares if hes ill or something. I mean when two people decide to get married ...I think that a person can offer a lot...even though they might not be in perfect health.
I think that a person can offer a lot...even though they might not be in perfect health.
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Ok could u kindly name a few things(material or immaterial)such a person can offer u in his health?
I'm not mocking u or anything...I'd really like to know...
Ok could u kindly name a few things(material or immaterial)such a person can offer u in his health?
I'm not mocking u or anything...I'd really like to know...
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Well firstly he might be the kind of person that can give you hope.He might not be able to physically do many things....but well theres so much more than the physical side of things.He might have a strong faith...and he might be the kind of person who wants to make you go on in life.He might be the kind of person who understand you ...like no other person can.He might be the kind of person who can give you hope in life.Sure its easier for me to say this ...perhaps because I'm not actually in such a situation.However there is so much to a person ..than just physical health.
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*Originally posted by The new COOLDUDE: *
I know all of u are gonna start thinking like they do in the movies where the guy ends up marrying the woman.(Especially in hindi movies!)
But life's not a movie...
So I'd say...HELL NO!.....
Sure..I loved her...but she won't be the same person I loved after the accident,mentally and physcially...harsh..but it's life...
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Putting yourself first,stepping out of a relationship which has nothing to offer isn't a disgrace or an act of weakness
Why go through with arelation like that?...Just because u saw it in a movie? and the hero/heroine ended up looking like this great almighty compassionate figure?
So far Maddy's suggestion is the only one tht's made sense to me but still with tht too..getting a second wife,(who would most probably perfect in every aspect) How ar eu gonna keep the balance?
It will be obvious that the person will be drawn to the second wife since she has so much more to offer.Conflicts will arise once again...:)
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Your view of love is very western in its definition.
I would marry my fiancee if she became disabeled or wasnt able to have kids, and i wouldnt divorse her if it happened after the marriage.
Sure life is going to be hard, but this life is short, in the afterlife we will insha'Allah be reunited as healthy individuals in heaven.
Love is not shallow, if you are in love you dont say 'tough luck..im outta here..'. You live with it and you keep on loving them. Maybe you cant even have sex with your spouse anymore because of his/her disabilities but thats not something to base your marriage on. It may be a big part of it but its not a deal breaker, specially when your spouse had no say in weather he or she wants to be disabeled or not.
If you love her..you wont stop loving her because of an accident....if you stop loving her then you never really loved her in the first place.
MuslimQueen, i just gotta say - i loved your replies in this thread.
A family friend of ours were in the same sort of situation; it was a month after their marriage. The husband got into an awful car accident (in Toronto), he was in a coma for months. Paralyzed from the waist down. His wife could have divorced him, remarried, she had everything going for her Masha'Allah; she chose to stick by him. Helped him with his physical therapy at the hospital, exercises, etc. Alhamdulillah he's doing alright now but the doctors didn't give him a chance of ever walking back then. For better or for worse, she chose to stick with him despite the doctors' prediction while knowing that her husband could be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life and be unable to move his legs for the rest of his life.
Anyways, i wholly agree with Muslim Queen. Intellectually and mentally, he could offer so much - it's not just physical health. Maybe, we should perceive this as a couple valuing the emotional aspects that each offers the other... like Muslim Queen stated, his faith could be strong and that's something someone could draw inspiration from. He could be a fantastic father to an adopted child - that's something that you can't put a price on. If he still had the same generosity, compassion, and honesty that he possessed prior to the accident - then why not? You can't ever put a price on those types of rare qualities in someone.
Look... Islam has the Solution na... Like MADScietist said...
If u leave her... Its Crual... Against HUmanity... Forget abt Isalam
BUT... U can always go for another wife. If the case is ... the Female Partner is Paralised...
Now.. If the Male partner is Parlized..... As per Islamic Law, she can take divorce...
If she stay with Him... As a beliver... Next World Is far More better. This has end.. other one is Endless.
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*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
Love doesn't just mean sharing happiness, it means being there for the person through his/her bad times too.
:)
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Well said ... This is the gist of the whole discussion.
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*Originally posted by Muslim_Queen: *
I'm not actually in such a situation.However there is so much to a person ..than just physical health.
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What distinguishes humans from other creatures is a sense of morality. If all decisions are based on self centered feelings the society will cease to exist.
There is something called commitment in a relation-ship and I'm not just talking about a man/woman relation-ship. One of our close relatives can become physcially impaired but we have to take care of them.
I've seen many arguments here which say that "you can still get something and physcial health is not the only attribute of personality." While I agree with these I would like to add that sometimes life is only about giving and not getting anything back.
Many scenarious can be drawn like this. For e.g, you are going for a meeting, you see an accident and if you don't help a person he/she will die. If you don't ateend a meeting you will bear a huge loss. Now what we are supposed to do ?
Life and realtion ships are not like account books which have to balanced on the last day of the financial year.