scared to go to pakistan

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: scared to go to pakistan

^She's a saint compared to the other mils that have featured in Life 1 threads of horror.

We should do a poll on which mil was the worst.

22

Re: scared to go to pakistan

Just keep a smile on your face, socialise politely with everyone and keep happy. There is no better defeat to your enemies than being happy all the time. I think you should take the stories seriously if it effects your husband's behaviour otherwise ignore them. If he thinks you're being *****y because of the stories then only socialise in front of your husband. Let him see how friendly you are. If someone asks you when you're moving back then simply feign ignorance and say you have no idea what they're talking about. And make sure to repeat that to all the gossipy aunties

23

Re: scared to go to pakistan

Learn theses three words:
Masha-Allah!
Alhamdulillah!
In shaa Allah!

Whenever you meet someone find something to compliment them on and use the first word.
Whenever they ask you how you have been, how you are finding your stay, use the second one.
If someone asks you when you will come to their place or even move to Pakistan use the last word.
Refrain from saying anything about anyone unless it's good and one of the three words above can be included in the sentence.

Do all of this with a smile and you'll be fine.

24

Re: scared to go to pakistan

I can understand how it feels, trust me when I say I do the same but people still talk... My MIL's sister is the worst at spreading gossip about me BUT don't let it get to you. Remember that it's a short trip, there's a wedding (use that to your advantage and get involved with whatever you can do and time will fly). The only reason I say your husband shouldn't really get involved in this is because he can't really do anything in an aurton wala mamla anyways... I mean it's crazy to assume your MIL is going to talk bad about you in front of him, so he doesn't see it. I would just let it go.

I'm not saying be a doormat, but like you said if they talk behind your back then there isn't much you can really do. If you want to confront her, chances are she won't exactly be truthful about it and ask you who told you this and then it'll just create a bigger mess. So to avoid further problems with her, I would just get involved in the wedding planning/shopping, talk minimally about family politics and never talk bad about anyone. If you suspect they are gossiping about someone, change the topic or simply get busy with something else. Please remember you can't change how she is, and to get caught up into why she doesn't like you or why she is the way she is - is just going to make you stressed out. Some people are just the way they are and refuse to change or look at their actions, so it's best to let it go. Be happy with your kids, enjoy your time there and people (smart ones) judge a person by their actions and words, not by what other people tell them. They will see for themselves how you are.

25

Re: scared to go to pakistan

This thread is no fun! No specifics! I wanted to pop some popcorn!

26

Re: scared to go to pakistan

I hope your husband doesn't agree with this. A grown man to quit his job and depend upon his father just does not seem right at all.

27

Re: scared to go to pakistan

If I were you, I'd play the American bahu card...mujhe kuch nahin pata...unse pooch lein.

My MIL is actually quite nice but I've noticed that playing innocent keeps me out of the whole saas-bahu thing.

If you hear gossip, let it go. Just let it GO. Because you only have to bear with this for a few weeks - not even an entire month. Do everything in front of your husband and try not to be alone with or in a situation where you can be manipulated. Do not talk about anyone in front of anyone.

When in doubt, do without.