Re: Scared of the future?
Firstly, I'd like to thank you all for ur suggestions.
I am usually a levl-headed person, and I know these thoughts are irrational but they're really worrying me. I felt like I was having a panic attack last night and awake until 3am although i had to get up at 6am for an interview.
Dil di rani: i suppose it is the uncertainty i fear and having to accept that i cannot control destiny no matter how much i want to.
i am about to step onto the career ladder after years of studying. However, in the current economic situations it is difficult, although i am getting job offers, its not the offers i need to qualify as a lawyer. Despite flying through with top grades and going to one of the red-brick universities, there are less opportunities out there because of the recession.
But in every other of my life i am content. However, my heart tears when i hear about all the zulms being inflicted on women across the world, whether it be by the Taliban or by their own families. And even here in the UK seeing a woman who is so weak that she can't prevent her husband taking another wife and then trying to detach her children from her - I have lost all respect for this guy. He has brought her to a totally new alien country where she has absolutely no family/support and then broken the news that he has taken another wife.
Straight-up: i know what you are saying is true, and that is how i usually think. I want to be that girl again.
Intoxicated: thank-you, i have been weak in prayers recently, and i will be more steadfast in prayers and in my faith, and inshallah find guidance through islam. I am sick of people twisting islam and using it to justify their irresponsible and wrongful behaviour - so hopefully with guidance from the Quran i will find the truth.
**PS-Squared: **everything i see or hear is for the worse!
Alhumdulillah i have a loving and supporting family, and with them i feel loved, safe and secure. I know that I will always have their support throughout my life, and that is not something most people have. When i am around my family, i am happy and content, but i question whether i will be content when i do leave my parents. I feel as if i had far more than my share of my happiness compared to other girls out there, and as a consequnec i will have to deal with the share of disappointment that are due to me because i have been so happy so far in my life.
*"But dont be scared of what if's...you will stop living and miss out on all the good stuff" - *you've described me perfectly in this sentence, and i know it is irrational. I am hoping that this is just a temporary clitch in my life.
ArchitectTrader: thankyou.
njgal: after the recent depressing stories i have heard, i am so grateful for everything that i have. I am blessed with loving parents who are still in the prime of their health, and beautiful (and sometimes annoying) siblings. I have more than most girls could ever dream of - and importantly i have my freedom.
Ur right time is something that you can never get back, but considering the way i am feeling at this moment i just want time to stand still.