A couple I know - (although seems like a nice people from the outside) tend to say really mean things to each other in anger.
They are all fine the next day but I think some of the things he says - stay with her and she can’t get them out of her head.
They both have a child, they are good parents and get along. I would recomend anger management consuling - which seems so silly in desi culture
What should the couple do? I don’t think this type of fighting is good for their child (even it’s a baby). Should one person just stay quiet? Should they BOTH go to anger management classes?
Or is it normal in some families? and I shouldn’t judge. I mean some Italians fight and bluster and they are all fine the next day.
If some of the things stay with her, anger management might be a good idea for both of them.
Going together is important, if only one of them goes, that person is gonna feel like the bad party, you know? By both of them going, they can support and encourage each other and hopefully work through the problem TOGETHER.
But do you know if either of them is interested in going? Either way, if the comments are staying with the lady, they should really talk, cos otherwise the comments are gonna fester away inside her and build up resentment and hurt. Better out than in lol.
A few days ago I saw a couple going at each other in front of their two toddlers - they weren't screaming or yelling but saying ugly, ugly things to each other. Non stop. The kids looked scared and disturbed. The mother kept telling the father to stop bickering in front of the kids and people (as we could all hear them) but she carried on arguing anyway.
Man, controlling anger is one tough cookie. Even I have trouble controlling it... and usually end up messing BIG time...
Yeah, has something to do with family and back ground. But then, its not a disease and not supposed to be hereditary, but again, our environment has all to do with it.
These days, i am just leaving myself , to myself, alone, when anger kicks in. Helps me to evaluate things and come to my usual self. I don't know how others cope up.
See taht's the bad part abt being angry. You kinda start yelling so the other person can "hear" your argument better... gets off hand. I'd say one of them should just act more maturely and ignore the other person while he/she's gone ballistic. haha.. my mom's not at all the yelly kind. So whenever she was angry with either of us, she would just go quiet and not respond to what we were saying. I have to say that was definitely a LOT more difficult for us to deal with.. I mean I always tell her that I'd rather she yell at us and get it out... rather than not talk to us.. which gets us more frustrated.. :D
i once overheard a asian couple down my road, both were going to some wedding, and were apparently late....they had 2 kids in the back, both young...and the woman kepy screaming at her husband telling him to HURRY THE F*** UP..we late for the wedding, why you so f***** slow....she used the F word atleast 5 times.....and then her husband told her to F OFF, while 2 kids sitting in the back..they had the windows rolled down, so everything was loud and clear....
honestly sometimes it just sounds so much worse coming from a paksitani couple...both dressed in slawar kamiz....disgusting
^ nadz it doesn't have to be swearing but saying things like
you are useless, or
you are jahil or
you are just like your father..
you can't amount to anything...
Sometimes words hurt. How can you say all that and just go back to being fine in the next hour.
if she doesn’t want him to say mean things may be she shouldn’t either, may be they provoke eachother. who knows if one person stopped the other person will also.
if they both feel they can’t refrain themselves from saying mean things then have a time out and come back to it later when ghussa is thanda
our religion give the best solution to prevent form these little fighting.... so... do not need to go for anger management classes.....
and the solution is to stay cool ...keep quite...... unnecessarily talks leads to anger and frustration........ kum bolna,kum khana aur kum sona lead to good and healthy life.
AThing are said in agner is never healed it stays forever in others hearts .... so everyone should avoid it.
The most bitter things are said by people when they're angry.. they have no idea about the damage done. It's hard to forgive people like that.. or forget what they said.
best way is to keep quiet.... leave the room. Do something else and then come back when a little calmer.
For the sake of children, one really needs to control their anger.
For a moment, just look at ur child, note their behaviour and see what affect its having on them. I know for me and the hubz, if we dont even raise our voice, or dont even i guess say anything, my daughter can pick up we're angry with one another.
