Re: Saving for the wedding
Since my Nikkah was so sudden and I wanted it big, I thought it would be unfair for me to have my parents pay for everything and spend all that money now in addition to the rukhsati later on as well. I had 5 months to save and I did as much as I could at that time. I also 'bargained' with Marriott since I worked with the company and got a wonderful deal with them, alhumdulillah which fitted my parents' budget perfectly. I paid for photographer, my dresses (not the bridal but the rest I wore for mehndi, 4 dholkis, post-nikkah events), bridal bouquet, makeup, hair and few things here and there. My parents paid for the hotel + whatever came with it, catering, groom's and inlaws' gifts, mehndi, dholkis, my airfare to miami, etc. My inlaws paid for the videographer along with my bridal clothes, jewelry and other stuff. I opted out a few stuff knowing it would be another $1000+ for my parents to pay (such as decor, centerpieces, lighting, dj, stage) and am going to have it all at my rukhsati inshallah. Luckily, my sister has amazing friends, one of them who offered to DJ (he's a professional and did it at no cost) and another friend who played the dhol during baraat arrival and later when everyone was dancing. It worked out great, alhumdulillah. What we expected to be a small event turned out to be big but in our budget at the end.
Now for my rukhsati, I am planning on paying for almost half the cost even though my parents have money saved up for it but in a few years they will be retiring and I would rather have them use that amount. The way I look at it is that if I can work and save up, why shouldn't I help them pay? Since this is a bit ahead, I can plan and save in advance. Instead of the 400-500 people my parents were going to invite, I have cut it down to 100-150 to make it more personal and special, and instead of the lavish rukhsati my parents want, I am now looking around for the best deals I can get so we can do it in moderation. And of course, I have the most amazing, out of this world, generous brother and sister who have also offered to help pay for my rukhsati =)
What alot of people don't realize is that there are sooo many small things involved in weddings that paying for them really adds to the budget.