SO the gloves are off and the Hair Twins take on the world… read on!
Switzerland protest after Federer fined for ball tampering.
By our Tennis correspondent
Sydney: The Australian Open Tennis tournament was thrown in disarray today after the final game of the Grand Slam tournament, played between Roger Federer and LaitaHua Hewitt, was stopped in its track by the Match Referee. According to a spokesman for the International Tennis Federation, the match was stopped due to accusations of excessive ball tampering at the hands of one Roger Federer.
According to TSN sources at Sydney Harbour bridge, the match referee involved in this fracas is no other than Mr. Cowabunga Hair who is a distant twin of another well known Australian personality, Mr. DarraHua Hair.
Based on TV footage, the whole incident transpired when Roger Federer served an ace which whizzed past LaitaHua Hewitts nose. The Australian referee then jumped off his high chair and picked up the ball to examine it, which he described as suspiciously green in colour and of a round shape. This caused immediate concern and was reported to the Head of Police in Canberra who agreed with Mr. Hair that the ball had been clearly tampered with by none other than Federer.
Subsequently, in accordance with ITF rules, the Nation of Switzerland was fined 5 large cows and the match abandoned in favour of LaitaHua Hewitt who later described the shame of playing on the same court as a ball tamperer. He said “G’day Mate! I have been observing that every time the ball went past my nose, its seems to curve in air – this is a clear sign of ball tampering by someone else on the other side of the net. I decided to take matters to senior figure of Mr. C. Hair who has taken the right decision – Tennis is the winner – well, actually I am - but who cares ?
Our correspondent on Serious Mental Issues adds:
Whereas the Swiss were indignant at such a colossal insult to their country, Mr. DarraHua Hair, who now lives in Lahore Pakistan with his trusted companion MalSpeed at the Mayo Hospital for the criminally Insane, was unrepentant.
He stated “In my days as an under World class Cricket umpire, I made many many such gobsmacking decisions such as those against Pakistan and the other ones against Pakistan as well. As I am a man of low moral and high fibre, I naturally and fully support the decision to deduct 5 cows from the Swiss Nation and see nothing wrong with it”. Mr. MalSpeed, wearing a T-Shirt titled “I am with Stupid” agreed with him fully and thanked everyone for their patience and a paid vacation to Pakistan.
