Aadab Arze Hai Shaiqeen…
, Enjoy !
South African management worries about burn out before World Cup
By our verbal correspondent
Cape Town: As the mighty South African team licks its collective wounds after a momentous defeat in Port Elizabeth, it has been revealed that officials are worried about fatigue effecting players in the home team.
In an exclusive interview to TSN, the team psychologist Jonty Rhodes has revealed the devastating effects of non stop cricket on minds and bladders of South African players.
“Its been a tough year – The Champions trophy, India series and now Pakistan … our players are tired of sledging and bad mouthing opposition”. Describing in further detail the preparations undertaken by South African squad before each tour, Jonty described the painstaking research done to provide the prefect sledge to each member of opposing team. “We watch videos and examine each player in detail and then come out with a sledge game plan but its taking a toll on our cricket. Is it any wonder that we have to rest some of our top bowlers for the next match ? Like, how many more swear words and taunts about Pakistani physique can we come up with? We even prepared a detailed 5 day plan for Razzaq but he failed to show up and what about those jibes that we were to hurl on Shoaib Malik ? Where are these b#@$%^ds ? Somethings gotta give – ya know” said Jonty as he broke down crying and was consoled by Andre Nel ,whose mouth is now in a plaster after the heavy sledge load of last few months.
The South African coach later also showed astonishing stats to TSN which proved beyond the slightest doubt that South Africans were the hardest working team in the business. According to Mr. Arthur, South African bowlers bowled a total of 56.9 Millions sledges at batsman from Oct 2006 alone ! Out of these Andre Nel contributed 23 Million at an astonishing rate of 12 Million per match!
Whereas Andre Nel worked hard on his swearing, the TSN correspondent was shown startling video images of Hershy Gibbs recovering in a secret location. In these disturbing images, a clearly weak and bedridden Herschelle Gibbs is shown being treated for what doctors describe as the worst form of verbal diarrhea in which men start to mistake others for animals and such like. His father Herman than told TSN that he was worried that Hershy had lost his touch and blamed the ICC for putting so much pressure on South African cricketers. “There is only so much swearing a man can do – the b%%^&**s need a rest !”
From our PCB correspondent
As news that South Africa could rest some of its sledgeridden cricketers for the final test reached Gaddafi stadium, Shoaib Akhtar announced that he will be returning to join the Pak squad in Cape Town to recuperate from his latest brain muscle strain. As he blew his hair to the side and posed on his latest Honda 50, Shoaib claimed in his Irish/Pindi accent “Oi! Playing for Pakistan in a crucial match is the best place to fix ones physical condition – I expect to show up on the day of the match, bowl a few over and then punch the living daylights out of Woolmer – that is perfect preparation for the World Cup, matey, Kiya Khiyal hai ? ”.
In other news, Shabbir was put in permanent standby by Mr. Bari - to join the Pak squad in SA– he now lives at gate 5A of Lahore Airport and is waiting for his recall by listening out for announcements on the public address system.
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…GOLD right there..man. U can earn with this..ya know? send some of ur articles to cricinfo..lets see what happens..very funny 
