so now we know the real reason for Englands demise in Karachi…mujhay pataa tha…
Pakistan International Railways (PIR) apologises to England for early departures
By our railroad correspondent
Karachi: As the England cricket team ran around the National Stadium, Karachi looking for ways to escape the beastly onslaught of Pakistani batsman and bowlers, one could be forgiven to think that they had a train to catch - in a hurry. However, investigations by that paragon of media excellence, TheSourceNews[TSN], can now reveal that this was indeed the case.
Speaking to the TSN correspondent Sharmeeli Khatoon, the PIR spokesman apologized for any inconvenience caused to the England Team who were booked to travel to Rawalpindi, shortly after the Karachi ODI. According to the spokesman, due to seasonal adjustment of the timetable, the train times were brought forward to approximately 5:00pm, Karachi time. When this news was conveyed to the English Team , they decided to bow to the vagaries of the train system in Pakistan and do everything to help out - as a favour.
Speaking on condition of complete anoynimity, Captain Marcus TrescoThick expressed his surprise at the sudden change in PIRS Karachi-'Pindi timetable. He said “When I was told in the morning that the train would be leaving earlier than expected, I immediately decided to win the toss and put Pak to bat to allow us to catch our train in time. I also ordered our bowlers to bowl waywardly and provide as many opportunities to Pak batsman and bowlers to end the game at the earliest convenience. It was our good fortune that some Pakistani players such as Akmal, Afridi and Razzaq were also trying to catch the same train…”. PIR spokesman in a seperate statement also thanked the English and Welsh nation for its support of the Rail timetable and promised free lassi, cholay and jamal gota [translation: traditional herb to massively help in regularity] next time any member of the English team travel on the Tezgam express. He added “Eversince we mentioned this change to Mr. Marcus, his eyes lit up and he ordered packing up of all luggage in the hotel - he seemed like a man possessed and it showed his love of the railways”
In the meanwhile, the news that the English team had agreed to use the Railway system to travel in Pakistan was greeted with great displeasure at bus depots around the country. At the Gulab Jaman Khan bus depot in SuhrabGot in Karachi, bus drivers held an emergency meeting to condemn Englands rejection of the first class facilities provided by Pakistani InterCity Bus operators. “We even offered them special seats behind the bus driver with extra Naswaar[dream inducing substance] sherbet and loud Pushto music, but they rejected it - we will never forgive them” said a driver as he dozed off. The England and Wales management was not available for comment but privately, one rather sleepy member of the English Team ( who may have won a award last week ) said that he was a little surprised at the low grade Naswar on offer.
