Profile: Ganguly - the saint behind the mask
By Sanjay, our miscellaneuous affairs correspondent
Click below to see St. Ganguly plans another “peaceful move”…
http://www.eas.slu.edu/People/Students/KSanthanam/ganguly.jpg
Cochin: Typically, cricket encounters between Pakistan and Indian have always been known for games played with a fiercely competitive spirit, with no team giving an inch to the other. However, TheSourceNews has reliably learnt that the man credited with taking the edge of any Pakistan Indian match and possibly providing a solution to Kashmir is no other than India’s proud “shirt waving” captain - The Anti Flintoff, The Prince of Kolkatta ( known jokingly to his friends as The Prince of Rickshaws) - Saurav Ganguly.
For it is this saint of a man, who has done more for the thaw in relations between the 2 warring neighbours than any amount of *lassi *and *gulab jaman *could ever achieve. He may portray a picture of a man who doesn’t really know what he is doing on a cricket pitch, yet behind that facade of mediocrity lurks the mind of a great peacemaker. It is this quality alone that has not only made him a hit with the local fans but gained many many more across the border and around the world. His uncanny ability to further friendship by unilaterally and unselfishly offering Pakistan chances to win at every stage of any game, has given him a legendary status among fans. In fact his following has reached such proportions that when news reached Karachi that Ganguly may be dropped from future games - people took to the streets in protest. Some protesters who were openly and unashamedly crying had banners praising his guts and imagination in attempting to handover games to Pakistan. One such protester, Humaira Bibi was unequivocal in her support for the great man - she said "All this time we had been told by our government and those bods at ISI that India was full of vile, sweaty and evil smelling people - but looking at Ganguly I can safely say that they were wrong - by the way what deodorant does he use ? "
Ganguly for his part was noticeably modest about the whole affair. He stated that what he had done was “really nothing” and what anyone of his natural abilities would do. He also vowed to gladly repeat his peaceful overtures such as totally missing the line of straight balls and dropping catches, if given another chance. He further vented his displeasure at Indian fans who have been burning his effigy in the slim hope of his resignation, saying that they were the true enemies of peace. Inzamam, the Pakistan captain was equally circumspect about the whole issue but professed happiness with his batsman who replied in kind to Gangulys gestures by gifting their wickets in many beautiful ways. He singled out Rana Naveed as someone who needs to work on the peace loving aspects and stop bowling and batting like he wants to win every game. He further expressed his desire to have more Hyderabadi biryani on Shoaib Maliks account, should the series be drawn in a great act of selflessness and peace.
Predictably, Ganguly has many admirers among the ex cricketers. Foremost among such individuals is Aamir Sohail. The proud Pakistani cricketer, known for daring do such as telling Venkhat Prasad to get lost before losing his wicket in the next ball in a World Cup quarter final, was candid when asked about Gangulys role in peace and harmony. He said “Well, if you ask me Sanjay, these Indians have a great man in Ganguly, who has shown many things to us - some are public and others are private which I wont mention. However, one of them is that he epitomizes the good batting and leadership - Ok he lost his middle stump in Bangalore and leg stump in Cochin - but who is a perfect player ? apart from me that is ?”. His comments were also echoed by Sanjay Manjrekar who stated “I thought that I had reached the pinnacle of personal happiness when TWI allowed me to wear my pink shirt on TV but have to say, its nothing compared to the feeling of goodwill that Ganguly has generated - I mean what else can a man do to encourage camaraderie between these two great nations ? Look at his record - first he gave his middle stump to Afridi in Kolkatta, then immediately offered his leg stump to Rana - the man is a saint”. Another great of the game, Sarfraz Nawaz, outspoken cricket expert and a proponent of Pakistan India friendship and brotherly love also added his voice to the accolades being showered on Ganguly. However, he criticized Pakistans foreign, yet chubby coach , Bob Woolmer for his attempts to divide the 2 nations. He said “Its the old Colonial trick of divide and rule isnt it? Just like that Mountbatten person, our non Pakistani coach has tried to destroy the climate of love by doing his level best to fight Gangulys peace overtures” He however, praised Pakistani batsman for their sincere attempts to match Gangulys spirirt by tactfully giving the game away at important points.
Our PCB correpsondent adds:
Wasim Bari, the chairman of selectors when contacted was also very hopeful that the climate of peace, created by Ganguly would continue. He remarked that “In my days, we thought that this could only primarily be achieved by methods such as smoking things or sitting in the pub for longish hours but looks like the same effect can be created by Ganguly alone - my personal woolly hat off to this guy”. He then asked the correspondent for a joint. When this was refused on the basis of legal issues, he collapsed. As he was carried off by attendants at the Mayo Hospital for the Permanently Depressed, Bari was heard shouting that although him and others were doing their bit for peace by sending Taufeeq Umar with the same instructions as Ganguly - the coach has interfered in the selection process, thereby chosing other non peaceful cricketers like Rana and Afridi.
[TheSourceNews]
:devil:
As usual for more funny stuff:
http://www.geocities.com/men_green_pakistan/TheSourceNews.html
d
Taa mate! 
:k: