PCB appoints new curator to supervise preparation of Karachi pitch.
By our curatorial correspondent
Karachi: Hot on the heels of phenomenal success in the first 2 test matches, preparations for the upcoming test match between arch-rivals India and Pakistan have received an extra push after news was leaked out that Babu, the famed toilet cleaner and head of PCBs planning committee, has been chosen to supervise pitch preparation for the all important last test match at Karachi.
Speaking to TSNs correspondent on conditions of absolute and utter secrecy, ex cricketer and a well known expert on unsavoury affairs - Aamir Sohail disclosed this fact today. Aamir expressed his appreciation for this move which he termed as a decisive one and the type of action which was required to free this nation from the evil clutches of the worlds last remaining colonial power - Bob Woolmer.
In the meanwhile, when contacted, Babu expressed pleasant surprise at his appointment and vowed to bring a breath of fresh air into the whole sordid saga of pitch preparation. On further querying, Babu disclosed that he had now devised a plan to give character to the Karachi pitch by instilling the same flavour which had served him in good stead at his job at the Gaddafi Gents toilets.
The secret, according to Babu, was a mixture of Daal (lentil) and Gobhi( cauliflower) served to three starving donkeys that live outside the National Stadium Karachi. After ingesting this mixture, the donkeys were to be let loose on the surface of the Karachi pitch for 2 days and the pitch watered daily. Once the donkeys had done their business, the pitch was to be rolled up - all set for the big match.
When asked about the exact theory behind such a fantastic undertaking, Babu laughed out loudly and said that he was confident that the odour emanating from such a pitch was enough to get the batsman off the pitch as soon as possible. This would, in turn, lead to smaller totals and a definite result. "I think the toss will be most important - the team batting first will get the best of the batting conditions but as the match progresses and the pitch dries up and the fine smell of donkey dengue rises through the soil, the team batting on the 5th day will not last more than 10 minutes, ha ha !. He, however, did accept the fact that there may be some casualties among the more sensitive cricketers such as Sami and Kumble, but insisted that this was the kind of pitch where real technique of good batsman would come to the fore. He stated “The taller batsman with smaller noses are more likely to succeed here, compared to those with smaller builds and larger nostrils - also those with an appetite for smelly things will survive the longest - I therefore predict Harbhajan as the highest scoring batsman”.
Our Cricket correspondent adds:
News of Babus appointment was greeted with glee among the thousands of fans in Karachi. As many of them queued with face masks, to catch a sight of the donkeys involved - it was evident that they liked what they saw ( and smelled ). One such fan, EntraBaba agreed “Ab maza ayega - Indians ko pata chalega kay Pakistan kiya cheez hai”[Translation: Oh Joy - The Indians will now really enjoy our hospitality]. EntraBaba, then passed out and was carried off by his friends to the local hospital where his condition is described as very smelly. Among the other donkey admirers present at the outskirts of NSK, was one of the most glamorous ex cricketers of yesteryear - Rameez Raja. On catching sight of one of the donkeys, he was clearly heard shouting out loudly… “Hain? Bari ???”…
And this just in:
Many cricket fans were admitted to the Jinnah Hospital in Karachi after a serious bout of gas inhalation. In addition, the final test match in Karachi has been called off after Umpire Rudi Koertzen passed out on pitch inspection. The PCB, in another bold move, has ordered an inquiry into the matter and appointed Babu as the lead investigator… :devil:
(With a million apologies to fans of one of Pakistan’s greatest Wicketkeeper - Wasim Bari ) 
For more jheenga masti : http://www.geocities.com/men_green_pakistan/TheSourceNews.html
:roman::k:
donkey dung pitch 
