So looks like ICC are now looking for some solid evidence - does the following qualify ?
New evidence of ball tampering discovered
By our well tampered correspondent
London: The current ball tampering controversy has been given a new lease of life after revelations that Umpire Hair acted upon firm and wholesome and edible evidence when he penalized Pakistani cricket team at the Oval.
According to Hair’s one eyed and one toothed Aunt Matilda, who lives in Sydney suburb of CowaBungaBubba, it was she who first alerted Hair to the possibility of some “hocus pocus” in the way Pakistan were handling the ball on that fateful day.
In an exclusive interview to the TSN, Aunt Matilda described how she discovered proof that something largely bad was in the offing.
Apparently, on the night of the 3rd day of this test match, Aunt Matilda was visited upon by the tooth fairy inquiring about Matilda’s only tooth.
On being told that Hair was in England and not with Aunt Matilda, the fairy in question relaxed and sat down with Aunt Matilda for a nice cuppa ,to reveal some important information on this test match.
Although, Aunt Matilda was understandably cautious in disclosing the full extent of this revelation, she disclosed important parts of this discovery for a sum of USD$500,000 to be paid in unmarked bills and left in a park in downtown CowaBungaBubba [She also asked for a prompt payment or she would kneecap all present and remarked that the Hair family was very careful in its business dealings with dodgy journalists].
According to details of this proof, the tooth fairy [hereby known as the Proofee] saw with her own eyes (well assumed that it thought, that it saw) some possibly vile things being committed to the cricket ball. The full list of actions on the ball cannot be revealed as this is a family publication but it can be assumed for the moment until further evidence may be unearthed that it was BAD.[This does not preclude legal action against as many people as we want to - forever]
Our MiddleEastern correspondent reports:
Ya Akhwan, reactions at the ICC’s HQ in Dubai was one of pure and unbridled jubilation. As the chairman of the ICC and his cohorts danced the Can Can, wearing party hats and fig leaves, Mr. Reid from New Zealand was rather more serious about the whole issue. He claimed “We always knew that video evidence or evidence of the condition of the ball or the fact that no one saw what happened is neither here nor there… however, it is now clear that the evidence provided by Messrs Aunt Matilda and tooth fairy is incontrovertible and proves our point of view beyond a shadow of doubt. We can further reveal that Jimmy, the half urine soaked drunkard from streets of Brixton can also corroborate these findings – it’s a great day for truth and justice and Hair”
Our PCB correspondent Reports
The PCB meanwhile announced its decision to fight this evidence with all its might. In a tough statement read out to the world media, PCB spokesman Saleem Altaf, fighting tears of anger, promptly announced the formation of a committee to look at a possible replacements for Inzamam, Team Pakistan and anyone else who ICC didn’t like. He alse vowed in strongest possible words to never be bad boys again and thanked Umpire Hair and Aunt Matilda for their cooperation. 
