Apologies friends, have been away for a while - I suppose the death of BW snuffed all humor in Pak cricket …
Anyways, back to reality and arent we all tired of ex cricketers ( legends) criticizing everything for the heck of it ?
Read on … and enjoy…
**Legends launch scathing on each other
**By our legendary correspondent
Lahore: As news of Pakistan cricket’s sensational appointment of an Australian coach begins to creep in, it has become known that all is not well amongst the community of Legends of Pakistan cricket.
TSNs legendary correspondent, Miggy Lal, has spoken to some of these legends who have expressed their utter disgust at each other and most other people in the Universe.
One of these legendary super heroes , Javed Miandad, expressed his deep dislike for others on the condition of strict anonymity. He said that “I hated Sarfraz and Immy from the day I set my eyes on these ungainly and aesthetically challenged creatures but I also didn’t see much good in any one of Majid, Zaheer or even Tauseef Ahmed – even the rotund young man in the dressing room who made lassi for us ( was that Inzi ?) - I generally hate everything within a 6000km radius of my existence”.
Another similar legend of immense proportions, Intikhab Alam, spoke to the TSN on the condition that someone or anyone for that matter would give him any importance possible. He claimed that Miandad and Zaheer had conspired to remove Biryani from his gym bag and stolen his favourite dhotee, a dastardly action that deserved eternal damnation.
On further questioning he revealed that he was a reasonable sort of a fellow and harboured no ill will against fellow human beings except Australians who were hired as coaches for Pakistan.
While not being as outspoken as some of his fellow legendary friends, Zaheer did not hold back any punches on being told this news. As he wiped tear after tear from his face, all he could utter was “Salay, phir mujhay bhool gaay” *[Translation: Oh brothers of my wife, you have forsaken me yet again – oh Hell!]. *He then took off one his many shoes and threw it in the general direction of Karachi while yelling “This ones for you Miandad”.
When questioned further, he blamed his pent up anger on an incident in his childhood when a nasty ice cream man pointedly refused give him an extra scoop of vanilla ice cream! On further and repeated medical examination and prompting, Zaheer identified this man as no other than a body double of Geoff Lawson, the new Pakistani Australian coach, thereby explaining his hate for someone he hadn’t met ( or is likely to meet after Dawood Ibrahims men took him away for a friendly chat).
In a related but shocking development, Sarfraz Nawaz, another legend of the underworld, has decided that he will no longer be angry and had decided to resign from his honorary post of the anti–everything brigade.
In a special message to the TSN, Sarfraz said “I have now exhausted all my objections and hatred filled nonsensical statements – I have thought very hard for the last 48 hrs and fail to come up with anything remotely hate filled to say – I am therefore hanging my lungee and throwing in my chaddee to indicate that I will be very quiet for the next 2 days and not utter anything sensational but I simply don’t understand why PCB would hire anyone with such a funny looking nose ? We have many fine looking people with similar crooked noses – why not a Pakistani? I demand an official enquiry”
