While we have been concentrating on Shoaib and Asif - a much deeper problem has gone unnoticed…read and weep…
Ladoos laced with drug Nandoschicken found at cricketers house
By our drugged correspondent.
Karachi: Police sources in Nazimabad have confirmed the existence of a secret stash of Performance Degrading (PD) Nandoschicken laced laddoos, in the house of a famous cricketer.
This discovery of laddoos which comes at the heels of drugs scandal in cricket, is sure to shock the nation and send shockwaves down the socks and dhotis of many in the PCB.
Talking with TSNs special reporter Charsee Shah, an expert on addictive drugs (currently in rehab himself in Liyari Druggies Clinic), the unnamed and secretive Police source has confirmed that the laddoos were meant to be sent to the Pakistani Cricket team training camp before their tour of South Africa.
It was further revealed that Karachi Police became suspicious when a local rickshaw driver, Hashu, was asked to deliver a trial packet to an executive at the PCB. It is reported that Hashu, in attempting to test the said Laddoos for quality reasons was overcome by the strength of the drugs and had informed the Police of his suspicion in this regard. Hashu was then taken for some light hearted questioning at the local Thana where he is reported to have revealed all.
The Police then contacted the renowned sports druggery expert, Dr. DhunLal who is currently conducting research on the effects of NandosChicken on Primates in Gulshan-e-Iqbal.
Dr. DhunLal on further investigation and tasting of approximately 200 samples, confirmed the presence of said drug in the laddoos. According to the scientist, the effects of the drugs can provide unusual loss of strength and result in sleep during and after any activity that requires a remote chance of mental activity.
The Police also confirmed that the PCB had been ordering such Laddoos for all its meetings for many years and the special requests for these items would increase before, after and during the cricket season.
Our Cricket correspondent reports:
At the HQ of Pakistan cricket, Gaddafi stadium, the news of the seizure of these laddoos was received with customary stiff upper lip and composure. As members of the steering committee for drug testing cried shamelessly at each others shoulders, many wondered if Pakistani team selection would ever be the same?
One member of the committee, who wished to name anonymous and addressed himself as Bari, complained that the laddoos had been stopped to please the ICC and WAPDA( Wapda spokesman later denied that they had asked for 1000 such laddoos in return for resuming electricity supplies to the PCB). Bari, holding back tears asked “Why have the Police not asked for sample B from myself and others? How else can we pick the best team for Pakistan without the influence of said banned substances?”
