Can Inzi and YK, ever do anything right ?
Inzimam faces yet another fine by the ICC
By our ICC correspondent
Bangalore: As the Pakistani team and its supporters celebrated their most famous victory at Bangalore, the mood was ever so slightly dampened by the incredible news that the ICC had decided to impose another punishment on the cuddly but serious captain, Inzamam-ul-Haq.
This fine, which comes at the heels of a one test ban on Inzi, has reportedly been imposed for breach of ICCs stringent policy against unrestrained show of emotion and excessive smiling.
Inzi was fined by the ICC for violating Law XVII, clause 4, appendix 3 which clearly states that "No Pakistani captain is allowed to smile for more than 5 seconds at a time". The fine, sponsored by Pepsi ( *Yah Dil Mangay Aur *) was announced by ICCs special representative on colonial affairs, Mr. Chris Broad at a press conference in Bangalore. In a statement read out to the press , he said that :âIt had come to our attention that the Pakistan captain and some other odd looking people in his team were smiling throughout the 5th day of the 3rd test match. This non cricketing activity reached its peak when Pakistan won the game. Not only did the Pakistan captain show emotion and smiled incessantly, he also instructed his vice captain to indulge in this questionable activity. In addition to the violation of ICC laws, the ICC had also upheld an appeal lodged by the Indian captain, Saurav Gangulay in which he cited Younis Khans permanent smile and baring of teeth as a distraction which led to the stumps being magically uprooted from the ground without the bowler Afridi doing anything of significanceâ. Privately, Chris Broad also expressed his displeasure at the Pakistani captain saying that cricketers of today and especially those from the colonies, need to show a little more respect for the rules laid out - he cited how he stood his ground when given out and single-handedly refused to laugh at any decisions handed down by Shakoor Rana.
Our sports correspondent adds:
Reaction among the cricketing communities on both sides of the border was predictably mixed. As most Indians danced and celebrated the demise of Saurva Gangulay, singing the famous Indian song " Tera Kiya Hoga Gangulya ?â( translation: What fate will befall you, O Gangulay?â), most Pakistanis were distressed at hearing that their captain Inzi was fined. Some even questioned the need for such âsmilingâ behaviour on a cricket field.
Sarfraz Nawaz, a great Pakistani player known for his penchant for bottletops and Rani, was at hand at the offices of TheSourceNews. He claimed âEver since this English/Non Pakistani/Paid in USDollars coach has arrived, our cricketing powers have slowly diminished - I mean who taught Inzi to smile like that and why isnât Younis Khan wearing face mask to hide that smile ? Situation has reached such low levels that if the President of Pakistan doesnât intervene, we could have players openly laughing on the field and actually enjoying their work!â Aamir Sohail, another ex Pakistani player and an expert on unsavoury affairs, when contacted for comments also chimed in with Sarfarz saying "These Pakistanis are making the mockery of the cricket - to me Sanjay [Editors note: We arenât quite sure where this came from] , it *epitomizes *the sad state of affairs - in my days, I used to personally kick any member of the team that smiled on the field - I also donât know how Younis Khan can have so much hair on his head - maybe thatâs why heâs smiling ? "
Our PCB correspondent adds:
The mood at the PCB headquarters was generally subdued. Whereas the staff continued their daily chores of toilet cleaning and drinking chai, some could be seen dancing to the famous Pakistani tunes of rap artist MIGGYBRO, such as âBallay Ballayâ and âAye Hai, Oi Hoi, Gangulay Gangulay Maray Gaiâ. Although none of the âhighâ officials was on hand to comment on the situation at hand, PCBs Chairman of selectors, Wasim Bari did speak to us from the confines of his cell at the Mayo Hospital for Distressed Ex Cricketers. He claimed that âBW has interfered in the selection process and only chosen cricketers who smile excessively such as Younis Khan and that if Taufeeq Umar had been chosen he would have put the S in the word Serious for the Pak teamâ. He further announced the continued sacking of Haroon Rashid for the next tour of India before lapsing into another bout of hysteria. His condition is now described as stable by the hospital authorities. TheSourceNews also attempted to contact the Head of PCB, Mr âHard Talkâ Sharhyar Khan but he could not be contacted. His spokesman, Ashwirya Rai, did claim that he was a little busy with more important humane affairs *as he was *
*trying to arrange asylum for the Indian Captain, Saurav Gangulay. *
[TheSourceNews]
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