Media reports talk of the arrival of 2 security consultants from England to assess Pak cricket venues…
Looks like our 2 security consultants may have created a bit of a stink…:devil:
Explosion puts Englands tour of Pakistan in jeopardy
Karachi: Englands tour to Pakistan in October, today hangs in balance after news reports stating that the English Security consultants , Mr. Dick Dastardly and Ahole Smith have been seriously hurt in an “untoward” incident.
Whereas Police authorities in the dangerous port city of Karachi are tight lipped about the whole situation, TSN has learnt from their sources in the Karachi Sewage Department that the incident is more serious than first thought. According to sketchy details from our source, Dastardly was brushing his teeth in the morning while Ahole was talking to British PM Tony BLiar, when the explosion ripped apart their hotel rooms. Later it was revealed that the source of the explosion was due to a build up of sewage gases in the hotel system. Although the actual source of the pressure build up could not be ascertained, it was apparently caused by Dastardly’s induction of large amounts of curry and beer at a dinner with the British Ambassador the night before. Luckily for both, the dazed and somewhat smelly security consultants were able to walk out in their tattered undies, and into the arms of the local British Consulate staff. A few of the staff fainted and were later treated for inhalation of irregular material.
At the Scotland Yard in London, the news was received with customary calls for air strikes against Pakistan. A visibly angry Metropolitan Police Commissioner told the reporters that if Pakistani authorities could not provide protection from Al Quaeeeeda to 2 brave men who had taken this hazardous journey to judge security conditions in the country, what hope was there when the England Cricket team arrived in October? When told that the explosion was caused by the build up of sewage gases in the hotel room occupied by the consultants, the Commissioner was clear that an unnamed terrorist group had supplied the food to the consultants, which contained an unusually high level of carbo-mono-flubic gases. This he, insisted, caused the explosion and represented another escalation of tactics by the terror mongers, sure to be punished by the Allies. He then excused himself to answer a call of nature.
Reaction in Karachi was that of disappointment as fans expressed their disappointment at the possible cancellation of this tour. Some also rued the fact that the sewage system of the city of lights had taken a nose dive and an evil stench would hang on their heads forever. Mahmood Maseeh, the head of the Sector 21 Sewage Area was most vocal in his comments. He said “For years, I have kept the sewage flowing with these 2 hands (Editors note: Our reporter, Noddy Green fainted shortly afterwards) – look at them will ya? Now all that effort has turned to crap with the news that the explosion has happened – our reputation is now in ruins.
The PCB, not to be left behind, also rushed in their chief tactician and head toilet cleaner, Babu to Karachi. On arrival at the scene of the explosion, Babu pointed out that the matter in question was Biryani and not Curry as reported by some irresponsible sections of media. He further stated that to ensure that no such incident takes place during the visit of the English team, he had been instructed by Wasim Bari to take all necessary measures. When further asked about these measures, Babu simply stated that they would consist of a toilet brush and a new can of Vim.
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