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Babu demands immediate dismissal of Pakistani Coach
By our janitorial correspondent
Lahore: Most observers, rickshaw drivers and casual street dwellers around Gaddafi stadium were stunned into silence today, after it was revealed that Babu the Toilet Cleaner had asked for an immediate dismissal of present Pakistani coach.
This revelation was made by Babu in an exclusive interview to TSNs correspondent on janitorial matters, Migbal Maseeh.
The interview took place immediately outside the Gents at the Javed Miandad enclosure where Babu, in an emotionally charged voice announced his willingness to step in to take care of the Pakistani cricket team.
When asked what had made him take this momentous decision, Babu said that he had cleaned Gaddafi Gents for many many years and he was ready to move on in life. He felt that being a real Pakistani with very little knowledge of the game itself, he was ideally suited to take on this role – “how difficult could it be ? I have cleaned up bigger messes in my life! “ he remarked when quizzed further.
In the posh Bhangee colony area of Lahore, fireworks of joy erupted when news was announced that a favourite son of the area had made plans to take on the evil outsider coach. As people, dressed in fresh clothes and holding the traditional Jharoo (broom) in their hands danced on the streets of Bhangee colony, some openly crying, it was evident to this reporter that the days of the evil Raj were all but over. As one reveler told TSN “Today I feel like dancing as we Pakistanis have finally found a suitable replacement for Uncle Sahib – the next World Cup is firmly in our hands”(Editors Note: Sadly this supporter of Babu later fell into an open man hole ) Another supporter felt that Babu’s unique blend of skills, ie his famed Jharoo (broom) grip which is now copied by many cricketers around the world would be of great use to under performing batsman like Mohammad Yousuf and Younis Khan – in addition, his trademark flying Bata Chappal punishment could bring a great improvement in Pakistani team discipline!”
Our Sports Correspondent adds:
The reaction among the cricketing community was mixed. When asked for his reaction, the living legend of the past and present and many other time zones, Shoaib Akhtar swore loudly, pulled a hamstring and then hit this reporter – he later provided a sample to TSN and the buggered off to London. Amongst ex cricketers, Zaheer Abbas noted that while the current coach of Pakistan could not be trusted due to his rather large girth, Babu could bring the freshness of a mature sewer into the cricket setup. He added that being a natural selector of talented cleaners, Babu would be instrumental in discovering the next pace ace to represent Pakistan. Zaheer also stated that he had recently seen a rather large pig flew across the sky with Santa Claus and reindeers in tow.
