Re: sari for valima?
i think a sari would look great on the valima! you could also wear a churidar or a khara dupatta. saris would let you move around and meet/greet your guests wayyy more easily than a lehenga.
just tell your inlaws you would prefer one to a lehenga- thats IF they're getting you your valima jora. i know most people i know have just given money to the brides and asked them to shop for themselves, according to their own taste. i think thats a super nice thing for the bride- being able to shop for herself.
i'd go nuts if my in-laws told me i couldnt wear what i wanted for the valima or anything else, really. talk about controlling! :P