I got some jokes may be u like it
One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks
suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields
nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were
horrified. On the next Railway station the driver
was caught : He was found to be a Sardar. When
he was questioned. He explained that there was a
man standing on the track and he was not moving
from there even after lots of honks etc . Then
authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad!
just to save life of one person you put life of so
many passengers under danger. You should have run
over that person . Sardar said : Exactly, that
is what I also decided, but this idiot started
running towards the field when the train came very
close.
One day there was a Bihari going in a Fiat Car at
45KMPH on a high way and enjoying his drive.
Suddenly a Sardaji came Booiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn on a
Honda and peeped into the car and shouted at the
Bihari - ’ Kabhi honda chalaya kya?’ (Did you ever
drive a Honda) and sped off, The Bihari was surprised
but he did not bother. After some time the Sardarji came
Booiiiinnnnnnnnnnn… in the opposite direction,
peeped into the car and shouted again ’ kabhi
honda chalaya kya?’ and sped off , This time the
Bihari was annoyed , since the sardar was teasing
about his driving. After some time again the
Sardar came back speeding and said the same thing
peeping into the car . The Bihari was about to
say something but the Sardar sped off. This time
the Bihari increased his speed but suddenly
stopped as he found the Sardar lying on the road,
bleeding. He got down and mocked at the sardar ’
Kyon Sardarji , Kabhi Honda chalaye kya?’ (What
Sardarji, did you ever dirve a Honda) The
sardar replied ’ Wohi to puch raha tha , Ke is Mein
Brakes kahan hooti hay’ (that was what I was asking.
I was looking to find out the brakes)
Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in
hospital after he lost his arm in an accident.
Banta was visiting him in the hospital. Banta:
“It was really bad that you lost your hand.
However thank Wahe Guru that it was your left
hand, since you are right handed.” Santa repied :
"It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually
it was the right hand which was going to be
caught in the machine. Then I realised that I
am right handed and so switched hands just in
time!
Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to
drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandhar
to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours.
After spending a few days there, he decided to return,
and called up his mother to expect him in the
evening. But he didn’t reach in the evening, and
not the next day either. When he finally reached
home on the third day, his disrtraut mother ran
and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya ?" (What happend
my dear son). The sardarji got out, obviously very tired
from a long journey, and said, “Oy, ye Mrutti wale pagal ho
gaye nain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaae
nain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik ?” (this maruthi
people has gone crazy. To go in front they made four gears,
but to go back they’ve made only one)
Our sardarji was filling up an application form
for a job . He promptly filled the columns titled
NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then the column SEX. He
was not sure as to what to be filled there.
Aftermuch thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK. On
seeing this in his application form, he was told that
it was wrong and what they wanted it to be
filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again our sardar
thought for a long time before coming up with the
answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.
The Sardarni asked her lover, Santa Singh were out
on a romantic evening. She said to him, “Santa
Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a
ring?” “Sure” replied Santa “What’s your phone
number?”
A sardarji joined a big Multi National Company
as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the
pantry and shouted into the phone,“Abey saale!
Get me a coffee quickly!” The voice from the
other side responded,“You fool you’ve dialed the
wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking
to, dumbo?” “No”, replied the trainee. “It’s the
Managing Director of the company, you fool!” The
sardarji shouted back, “And do you know who YOU
are talking to, you fool?” “No.”, replied the
Managing Director. “Good!”, replied the sardarji
and put down the phone!
A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny
object. He asks the clerk, “What is that shiny
object?” The clerk replies, “That is a thermos
flask.” The sardar then asks, “What does it do?”
The clerk responds, “It keeps Hot things hot and
it keeps cold things cold.” The sardar says,
“I’ll take it!” The next day, he walks into work
with his new thermos. His sardar boss sees him
and asks, “What is that shiny object with you?”
He said, “It’s a thermos flask.” The boss then
says, “What does it do?” He replies, “It keeps
hot Things hot and cold things cold.” The boss
said, “Wow, what do you have in it?” The sardar
replies, “Two cups of coffee and a coke.”
A sardarji was working as editor in a daily
newspaper. Once he was travelling to Bombay to
deliver a speech about railway department
improvements. His coach was the last coach in the
train. The train was moving very fast and so
sardarji’s coach was jerking heavily. This made
him not to prepare for the speech. Annoyed by the
event, next day in the meeting, his first point
towards improvement of railway deparrtment was
““There should not be last coach in any train.””
Two Sardarjis went into a pub and after ordering
two beers took some sandwiches out of their
packets and started to eat them. ‘You can’t eat
your own sandwiches in here,’ complained the
pub-owner. So the two sardars swapped their
sandwiches.
A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily.
After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts
washing the basin instead. The manager comes
running and asks him, “Prahji, aap kya kar rahe
ho?” (Dear Sir, what are you doing) To this the man
replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya
hai (You only wrote here),“Wash Basin”.
Four Sardarji’s were waiting on a Railway Platform
for the “Punjab Mail”. As they were waiting an
announcement is made about the train running late
by two hours. The train scheduled to start at 10
am will now start at 12 noon. Since there is lots
of time to kill the four sardarjis decide to go
out into the city to spend the time. When they
get back to the station they see “Punjab Mail”
just leaving the platform.So sardarjis start
running desperately to board the train.. One
ofthem manages to catch the 6th boggie Another got
almost the last boggie and the other two got left
behind. When the two Sardarji 's who managed to
get into the train met each other in one of the
bogies they started laughing uncontrollably. They
go on laughing …laughing …and laughing.
Now the other passengers get bit curious and one
of them asked the Sardarji’s … “Arre, what’s
so funny ? Why are you both laughing so madly?
One of the Sardarji’s managed to reply " Actually
the two who were supposed to take this train got
left behind…we …just came to see them off
!!!”
Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City
to Toronto, the captain announced, “Ladies and
gentlemen, one of our engines has failed.. There
is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take
an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have
three engines left.” Thirty minutes later the
captain announced, “One more engine has failed and
the flight will take an additional two hours. But
don’t worry … we can fly just fine on two
engines.” An hour later the captain announced,
“One more engine has failed and our arrival will
be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry
.. we still have one engine left.” A sardarji
passenger turned to the man in the next seat and
remarked, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up
here all day!”
Dil Magna tey dil dena soda ikku geya 
Dema Lahori