1- Sardarji is filling up a job application
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED
After much thought he writes: Yes
2- What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
3- Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
4- What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
5- Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don’t have to re-train them on Monday.
6- How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.
7- Why can’t Sardar dial 911? They can not find the eleven on the phone.
8- “Oh, look at the dead bird.” Sardar looked skyward and said “Where, Where?
9- Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: “Can I take this train to Ludhiana?”
“No,” answers the Railway man.
“Can I?” asks Gani Singh.
10- A Sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him “Kyon Sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai”
Sardarji replies “Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata.
11- Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 Rupees, the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife " What’s the matter?”
Replied he “The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else”
12- Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
“Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese.”
“How come you write “Chinese” when both parents are Sikh?”
" Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese.”
13- **Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the **Tower. Sardarji says “Yes”.
“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.” The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. “Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.”
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says “I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I’ll go get a ladder.”
14- Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn’t light. He tried another. It wouldn’t light. The third one finally lit. lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
“What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?”
“That’s a good match. I’ll use it again.”
15- A Sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why’re the guys doing what they’re doing. The bystander: A Marathon race is going on
Sardar: What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!
*****Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there on time. He is immediately hauled inside in front of the interviewing officer. Officer looks at Santa Singh then goes through his certificates and then starts asking him questions.
Following is the transcript :
O : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials I would like to ask you only some simple questions.If you can answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some opposites
S : Yes Sir.
Officer started asking questions
O : Above
S : Below
O : Front
S : Back
O : Left
S : Right
O : Male
S : Female
O : Ugly (means Next in Punjabi)
S : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)
O : Ugly...U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)
S : Pichhly...P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our Sardar also spells it)
O : U.....G.....L ...... Y.....(Officer shouts)
S : P ..... I ..... C ..... H ....... H ...... L ..... Y...... Our Sardar also shouts) Officer is now angry.
O : Get out
S : Come in.
O : Quiet please.
S : Talk please.
O : You are rejected.
S : I am selected
....... ....... and This is how Santa Singh got his job.
**~~~Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. Then the foreman asked the Sardar why he kept painting less each day,
he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can"
I sent flowers to someone who was moving to Florida for a job promotion. I also sent flowers the same day to a funeral for a friend. I found out later that the flower shop got the cards mixed up. They sent the card to the guy who was moving that said, "Deepest Condolences," and sent the card to the funeral home that said, "I know it's hot where you're going, but you deserve it."
*Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
*
A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
Our Sardar says, "I want my $20 million."
The man replied, "No, Sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years.
" Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."
Again, the man explained that he wouldonly get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! if you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my 1 dollar back!"
*Did you hear about the Sardar who asked his friends to give him all of their burnt out light bulbs?
He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.
*
*Russian Instructor
**When the Indians were being delivered their new fleet of fighter jets, an instructor espically came from Russia to explain the Indidan Air Force & Army the simplictiy of the operation of the planes (from Russia because India buys their planes from Russia)
So when the first plane was delivered, the instructor told the Indian Army " this has 3 buttons, the one on the top is to take off, the one on the left is to go left and the one on the right is to go right."
The soldiers nodded in understanding. But one soldier raised his hand and asked " But sir, how will we get down?"
The instuctor replied "Oh ! Leave that to the Pakistanis"
*
