It was announced today that another one of Monica Lewinsky’s past lovers has apparently surfaced – eager to share lurid details from the past. “I don’t think a gentleman should go into details” said Abbas Saqib of Karachi, Sindh,“but she was one little hellcat, let me tell you.”"She loved me until I had nothing left to give,"continued Saqib over a lunch of Biryani at Student Biryani, “and then she picked up her kneepads and blew out of my
life, so to speak. I’m guessing she wore them out when she moved to Washington DC.”
When asked if his revelations weren’t just so many sour grapes, Saqib responded angrily. “I don’t have to take that from the press. I loved Monica.True, I only remember that she had a beautiful head of hair, and true, we didn’t talk much, but a love like that only comes along in a blue moon. Except of course for a bar maid my friend Murtaza just told
me about last week.We’re going to set something up for Friday night. Whoo-hoo!”
When asked how it had ended,Saqib, his voice cracking audibly, said “I thought it was going so well,and then one day she told me she had found someone else.” Then he added
brightly, “Of course, now that I’m a celebrity,there may be a book deal or a movie in all of this. There might even be a country song.”
Saqib refused to speculate on what the title of such a song might be.