Ever wondered why Samis bowling skills have improved so much… ???
Sami finally discovers the secret of good bowling
By our bowling correspondent
Mohali: As the Pakistani bowling attack took another pounding by the Indian batsmen, pace ace Mohammed Sami for the first time admitted in public, the secret of his new found enthusiasm. This is welcome news for the much maligned Pakistani bowling attack which has been described by many in the know as “powder puff”, “clueless” and even plain and simple “bad” and totally inept at causing any damage to the Indian batting line up. Sources very distant to Sami have revealed that Sami recently stumbled upon a secret to improve his bowling figures by at least 100%, while helping his 3 year old nephew in his applied mathematics homework.
Apparently, the amazing sequence of events started when during the course of the homework, the nephew started to count from 1 to 10. Samis nephew in question, a certain Puppoo, was at the number 6 when Sami is reported to have jerked back his head ( thus clearing the hair of his face ) and shouted “Aha” in a loud and painful voice. Before his nephew could proceed to the next integer, Sami stopped him and wrote down number 1 to 6 on a piece of paper. Details are a bit sketchy at this point but it would appear that Sami then called his English( non Pakistani and as such evil ) coach, Bob Woolmer to confirm his findings. It is at this point that Sami is reported to have understood the true significance of his achievement, namely the fact that the secret of improving his performance *was to bowl only SIX Good balls in an over *and bowling more was NOT a good thing for his or Pakistan’s progress! Based on this amazing discovery, Bob Woolmer has decided to issue new counting computers to each of his bowlers ( see below )
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Bob Woolmers latest gizmo - will it help Pakistani bowlers ?
When contacted , Sami issued a statement read out by his lawyer stating that although he was happy with his discovery, it would take some time to perfect the counting thing - he singled out the number 5 as his main problem.
Our sports correspondent adds:
News of Samis revolutionary discovery spread like wildfire in the cricket community and many coaches around the country are today updating their coaching manuals to reflect this technique.
Some pundits have even suggested renaming the Number 6 as Number Sami or Sami Chakka (translation: Sami the Sixer) to commemorate this momentous discovery. The great Pakistani player, Sarfraz Nawaz was the first to congratulate Sami. In a statement to TheSourceNews he said *"I am so proud that a Pakistani entity has discovered the fact that an over has only 6 balls and any more are extras - In my days we use to bowl many balls until the umpire gave up and stopped us - armed with this new method we can surely improve. I really feel that PCB should now take action against our Foreign coach, before he passes this secret onto his friends (for more money) through his fancy shmancy website!” *
The reaction at the PCB headquarters was very enthusiastic. As ex players and toilet cleaners excitedly discussed the repercussions of this discovery, only Shanno Faqeer (PCBs resident clairvoyant and strategist) could be reached for comments. He said “Samis achievement is undoubtedly great as it takes care of the extras dilemma but I have also suggested that Pakistani fieldsman take catches with their mouths open – this way if the ball missed the hand, it will get lodged in the mouth. Sure it will hurt but can any sacrifice be too much for your country?
Our BCCI correspondent adds:
The Indian captain Saurav Gangulay, when questioned, played down the significance of this new Pakistani tactic of bowling 6 balls in an over. He pointed out that “VVS Laxman is due a high score any moment and the pressure of playing at home doesn’t mean anything - in addition I feel Inzimam looks kinda cute in the Mughal gear!”. When this correspondent pointed out that his statement had no connection whatsoever with the revolutionary technique from Pakistan, he apologized for the mistake and said that India would need to put in a much better performance as always with 12 batsmen.
[TheSourceNews]
Sami the Chakkaaa
