^ why the all caps shouting? If you dont want to contribute, dont. No need to tear a person down - what may be a trivial problem from your perspective need not be so trivial for Nadzz. Based on the # of contributions, it seems lots of people wanted to reach out and help.
Southi, you're a sweetheart...but Gaia's right as well....it's the same problem over and over again. And yeah, I know that you always have the option to avoid posting in the threads...but still. She's gotta learn that her in-laws are not gonna change. She's prego...she needs to avoid the stress....some of it she brings on herself.
tell them that you dad is already not feeling well and how will he be able to take care of such a young baby on his own . Honestly , its not easy to take care of such young kids during flights by their own mothers too . I don't understand what is your inlaws thinking ? it doesn't need a genius to understand and realise that how impossible all this is.
Ok yo nadz buddy..most of the people gave you good suggestions. Ya just have to take charge of your life yo!. These are small trivial issues that ya can deal with em. Wish ya all the best...
You are a mother of that child and you have the complete authority. You don't need to get worried or panic, she is yours, noone can make decisions for her except you. Plus stop worrying about your future, you can deal in an appropriate way with them. Like someone said above, you should simply say "dekha jaye ga" sort of thing to them and change the topic. Later after the SIL's marriage, if they say something to you then you can calmly explain your issues. You have the right to have your issues afterall you are human not a machine or servant who can't act against the will of her masters.
gosh your husband is being an ass, sorry no questions. He should be thinking of his baby's safety, comfort and routine..not dragging a one yr old half way across the world without her mum, also out of routine...what is she gonna be doing at the wedding? Selish reasons and khajjal khwaari.....he needs to be TOLD.
^ Good sentmients, PK. But there is no one to tell him off. Hence would suggest OP do no such thing - will only add to the problem instead of solving it, IMO,
I believe Nadz had said that her husband understands that it would be a burden for her dad who is unwell. It’s mainly the in-laws who are persisting with the matter. I think it’s odd. I doubt that the MIL or even SIL (when she has kids of her own) would send their own kids on a long journey in their absence. It’s easy to persist on such a mashwara for others…but to follow it yourself, is another story. But I wouldn’t be surprised that even if such a point was calmly brought up with the MIL…you’ll receive “Haan, main to zaroor bhejti apnay bachay ko”…
Anywayz.. I have a feeling Nadz inlaws are really great and down to earth people. She is bored, hence she creates all kind of fuss. And I think the conversation between her MIL and Nadz went along this:
MIL: Acha hota agar Fatma bhi Shaadi mein shamil hoti. uski eik hi phupho hai na rhetorical speaking
Nadz: Huh.. what?! OMG she wants me to send my child to pakistan tadaaaa
^ well every story has two sides, so it would be interesting to hear what the in laws and husbands opinion on all this is. For all we know, there could be a very valid reason for wanting the daughter to return to Pak and the wedding is just an excuse. It would have to be a very cruel and cold hearted person to want to seperate a baby from its mother for no apparant reason after all.
Her husband never left her. She had wanted to have her delivery back in England…and that’s why left Pakistan for a while. Otherwise, there hasn’t been a deliberate separation (from what I understand) due to marital issues between them.
"well every story has two sides, so it would be interesting to hear what the in laws and husbands opinion on all this is. For all we know, there could be a very valid reason for wanting the daughter to return to Pak and the wedding is just an excuse. It would have to be a very cruel and cold hearted person to want to seperate a baby from its mother for no apparant reason after all."
IMO, this is the ultimate devil'd advocate position one can take. Of course, it would help if we can have everyone's input. That is not going to happen. We can work only with what we have in front of us. Speculation, IMO, is of no help. If what the OP states is true, then indeed the parties involved are "very cruel and cold hearted".
^Nah, I don't see it as a deliberate cruelty or cold-heartedness. These adjectives don't even come to mind. STUPID is what I think. They obviously love the lil kid so much that they want her to attend the wedding.....so that can negate the cruelty......but that love is infringing upon the rights of others.
I know there are exceptions....but I've usually seen elders exercise more common sense and consideration in such matters. They may as a "formality" insist that you visit them even if that visit is a cumbersome one.........but persisting with such disregard for others is disturbing. So, it COULD even be that prego Nadz ( crazy hormones n all) may be more sensitive than usual and over-reading into things as someone had suggested earlier.
…in a sad sort of way. :no:
What led you to this assumption/idea?