same old issue with me again. i thought i was more grown up, maybe had matured abit, maybe had changed. but i havent. now im nearer the time to going to pakistan, im getting cold feet again and wana throw my toys out the pram-so to speak.
i was ok until last week, was even looking forward to going, seeing hubby etc, I DO miss him, HE IS lovely, yes. but i just cant get round to going back. im still the same, thought id changed. trying to see the positive, its hard.
and it doesnt help when people come round to see me to say their byes, and give me an hours talk of how mad i am to go back, who in their right mind would want to ....., so im all down again..
Growing up and maturing doesn't mean you aren't human. Getting the jitters is to be expected. Just don't let yourself dwell on the old baggage. Don't go back to that dark place. Think of this as renewal. You are going back to your susural with a new baby and new outlook. Think of it as *your *house, not *their *house.
You have to settle yourself Nadz. And you have a loving husband that adores you, and now 2 princesses who will look up to you as an example. Pull it together...I know you have it in you!
Agree with Khatti. It's okay to have conflicting emotions, you're human. I don't know if your husband will ever move back to England in the future....but I think that trying your best to maintain a positive attitude is more likely to convince him, whereas negativity tends to backfire and make a person more defensive. To win something at a later point, you may have to give up something for now. It's just a thought....I'm not suggesting that you go back to your husband with this sole purpose in mind. You've two kids and whether or not they will live in a healthy home environment (be it in Pakistan or elsewhere) does depend upon your decisions/actions/attitude. Other people will play a role as well (such as your husband, in-laws)...but you're a key player. Something to consider.
There will always be people who discourage you from doing something that is actually right and good for you.
Your husband hasn't seen his second child yet. You need to go home and become a family again woman. Think of your daughters now and like khatti said..."pull it together".
It is hard really hard for you to do what you do and there will be a lot of compromise..
I don’t know what to say apart from keep positive and if if you do have a moment I’d hope you can try and let that anger and resentment out in a log or somewhere rather than near in laws because at the end of the day you’re actions will be remembered life long and sabr ka phal meetha
