Same old Husband Wife story.

Lifestyle Relationships
1

In june, one of my class mate got married & immediatly after getting married she moved to US. Pasand ki hi shadi thi. I still remember how happy she was, shadi ke waqt bhi on stage khushi se dant niklay ja rahay they, & pretty, very pretty she is masha Allah.

Just a few days back i found out that the man she knew for almost two years, her husband, started to beat her right after they got married.

Well, perhaps like most of the desi girls she stayed quiet. Alien country & rishtoon mein se bhi she picked him bcos they liked each other & ab kis moon se kahoon, mein ne hi tu pasand kia tha.

But things just get worse, one day her husband beated her enough that us ke ser mein blood clotting ho gaye. She was 3 months pregnant at that time & almost miss carriege hotay hotay rah gaya.

She got hospitalized & her husband got arrested. (I dont know the whole details how, but his lawyer got him out in few days, she stated it as an accident too etc).

& than the guy flew to Qatar where his half of the family is without telling her. (police ke dar se ke kahin phir na pakar lia jaon). & she was there alone in alien environment, hurt, without money & with no clue where her husband disappeared.

Anyways, finally it was realized that things r out of hands now, almost divorce tak baat puhanch gaye thi but than again the same old desi story. “Shes pregnant with his child” & ab kuch nahi ho sakta…sabar karo.

Its been around 20 days hes back, so far the things r fine. Shes expecting a baby in march sometimes. & i m thinking here just how low a man can go?

:bravo:

2

she needs to get in touch with the nearest shelter or one of those organizations that helps battered women. if he can beat her severly once while she is pregnant, he can and will do it again. its better if she stays away from that beghairat husband of hers. she and her kid are not safe with that beast around. get her some help asap. make her realize she is better off without him even if she is carrying HIS child. its not healthy for the kid either. she is in america dammit! not pakistan!! she can kick his ass there if she wants to.

arghh.. i hate men like that.

3

coward!!

the girl needs help... just cus she is carrying his baby doesnt mean she needs to tolerate the abuse. What if she or her baby dont survive? what good is that going to do anyone? As suroor said.. she needs to contact proper authorities in US and get protection..

why do these females let themselves be treated like this?

4

I agree with the two of you.

I hope she's educated enough to get herself a good job. I think this is very important for her to have a decent life.

Government housing isn't all that good. From what I've heard, it's pretty bad. May be this is what is keeping her from taking any action.

Anyway, do istikhara and take it from there, insha'Allah.

5

Why cant People like this Get what they deserve. I wont call him a man because obviously he is not, but she needs to find a shelter, get in touch with her family because shes gonna need emotional n physical support. Since u r her friend, an if u r in touch, try gettin her back to her parents. IF she needs money for goin back, the best bet is to try askin the imam to help her collect money from the masjid.

6

this is what pisses me of...these husbands can only beat up their wife...they should pick on someone of their own size and then see what happens...

7

There are plenty of women who have had kids and still gotten divorced. She should not stay him for the sake of staying, thats not what a marriage is for. And if she does then she is also been a coward and letting anther idiot control her life for her. if on the other hand they is real reconciliation (I would suggest marriage councelling for him and her) then sure she should try and work things out.

8

Dont ask how low a man can go, because honestly the answer is something none of us want to hear or even know exists.

I used to volunteer at a Halfway home for Battered South Asian women...the stuff you would see...was just so shocking...and 90% would go back to their husbands....The circle of violence just continues...

No point discussing what she should or should not do.....she has made her decision, I jsut hope she is able to find peace in her life..

S.

9

I am sorry. But I am struggling to feel sorry for a women who is willingly taking crap from someone. Men like these needs to be hanged by their balls. How can you beat up a girl.

10

This is disgusting....i thought this kinda of situation only occur in the family where women cant think for themselves..but in this case.. i cant even make up any excuse for them!!!

11

Johny BR. I don't know where this poor soul is, but if she needs any help, PM me with inoformation and I'll see to it that all her needs are taken care of.
I am sorry to hear about the difficult situation your friend is going through /is in.

12

Thats bad.....
i can never understand how would someone get so mad that he will hit his own wife thats it complete BS and then leave her in this condition on her own.... horrible.
sympathies to your friend.

13

Did you have a thing for the girl, are you thinking that you would have made a better husband.

sigh at what happened to her.

Its sad when girls think they need the best man as their partner, so this kind of **** happens. Would they go for the next best guy thats around and who cares for them, they would lead much happier lifes as to live in fantasy world of a dream prince coming for them.

14

Females per hath uthaney wala dunya ka buzdil aur kamina tareen banda hota hai. They cant sand up any men out of home so this is all they can come up with.

Men like this guy are sick and they do reserve their berth in Jahanum for sure.

If you are in contact with her, encourage her to call 911 and kick his butt ! I know its very easy to say (as we all are saying) and hard to do but if not for herself, make her do that for her baby.

15

why doesn't she come back to pakistan?

16

You may also want to let her know that men who beat their wives also eventually beat their kids. A loss of control of emotion is a loss of control, whether a kid or an adult. I worked at a shelter also and it seems to be the norm that way.

Hopefully that will help her to make up her mind to leave now. If not here are some statistics:

In homes where domestic violence occurs, children are abused at a rate 1,500% higher than the national average.

In the United States, a woman is more likely to be assaulted, injured, raped, or killed by a male partner than by any other type of assailant.

Every day, 4 women are murdered by boyfriends or husbands.

70% of men who batter their partners either sexually or physically abuse their children.

Domestic violence is the number one cause of emergency room visits by women.

The number-one cause of women’s injuries is abuse at home. This abuse happens more often than car accidents, mugging, and rape combined.

Battering often occurs during pregnancy. One study found that 37% of pregnant women, across all class, race, and educational lines, were physically abused during pregnancy.

60% of all battered women are beaten while they are pregnant.

34% of the female homicide victims over age 15 are killed by their husbands, ex-husbands, or boyfriends.

**More than 50% of child abductions result from domestic violence.

More than half of battered women stay with their batterer because they do not feel that they can support themselves and their children alone.**

Family violence kills as many women every 5 years as the total number of Americans who died in the Vietnam War.

Even though it is hard, in the long run, leaving is better for herself and her child. Here is a website for her to access with more information and statistics.

Women’s Rural Advocacy Programs

17

Now that's really, really low.

Aise loogon ka koi zameer nahi hota? :(

18

that's hursh!

19

its better to leave, may seem hard for a Pakistani minded girl. but we should face the reality, and she need to get out of this situation.

she should make sure that he get proper punishment too.

20

Re: Same old Husband Wife story.

Jony, things have changed so much. I dont think anyone can compromise with this situation. If she and her family are still trying to get this marriage go on, I salute them for their respect of the rishtas.