Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
We kept all the salamis ourselves but the gift money given by my nanihaal was kept by my parents since it was meant to help out with the wedding costs.
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
normally the salami n gifts given to the bride n groom r also kept by them..as i know
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
i kept the salami on wedding day and my in laws kept it on waleema day..i havent seen any new bride getting all the salami on waleema day from her inlaws...thats actually sad!!
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
In ours, on both the shaadi and walima, the bride & groom get the salaami. My friends dad was retired and not financially well off - so she gave all her salaami money to her dad who took a loan to pay for her wedding. I thought that was awesome of her. I will give my salaami to my parents since they are retired as well, and for the walima will give it to the in-laws for what they spent. I think that's fair since my parents will also be giving me cash Insha'Allah to start our new lives together. It's wonderful if you can get to keep the money but not everyone is financially well off. If I did get to keep my salaami's I would spend it on a deposit on a house or even household stuff to start us off :)
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
BTW: when we go to weddings we hand the cash to the brides mother or in the case of walima to the grooms mom. I never thought about how it's divided thereafter, I always assumed it went to the bride and groom but every family have their own way of doing things.
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
everyone handed it to mum, and she gave it to us the next morning.
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
SGC i love ur avator ...
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
I always thought the bride and groom get to keep their own money and decide for themselves what to do with it.
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
what i have heard frm my mothers...its not always that bride and groom get to keep their money, some times the mothers never give (MIL) to the bride/groom. :(
but i would to get mine and use it to have a party in the US once we are back.
With us, our guests gave us cash and so did mine and my siblings friends, even though we had told them strictly not to. It was really generous on their behalf. In our community, we don’t get gifts so much in weddings, people prefer to give cash. My mom made a note with my khala of what everyone gave us and then she sent the money (received from guests) to Pakistan for sadaqa (goats) and charity. The salaami which was given to her by family members such as aunts and uncles, I didn’t ask her for it because they gave me gifts of my own. The money which my husband was handed from his grandmother, aunts, uncle and from my family members were all put into his savings account. Then the money which my/siblings friends had given us, husband and I donated it to the masjid in his town which was being built and which he’s quite involved in.
For some reason, he was given cash by everyone in his and mine family while I was gifted gold and diamond jewelry.. and I am not even a big jewelry person :aq:
lucky you!!! i love jewelry. I didnt get anythign from more than half of his family. =( and the ones that did get me stuff were like litterly a babys pair of earring.
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
I didnt even know there was any difference between money thet guests give directly to the bride&groom and money given to the parents. We kept all the cash we got, if anyone gave it directly to my/his parents they just gave it to us later
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
normally the guy gets to keep everything he receives before teh wedding and before the wedding day allcash has to be returned from teh brides side -- stupid thing just talking about cash
salami from inlaws go to inlaws and from ur side goes to u
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
there are 2 different types of salamis usually
one that the bride and groom get which they are meant to keep on both barat and valima days
and one that the parents get called ghar ki salami which ppl hand to the parents and they get to keep it...
what i got on barat i kept... we add money from barat and walima and keep a note of who gave what for future references (i dont know reference for what though :D ).. so mom added some more money to the salami and got me a bond at the bank.
what i got on valima, i gave to my mil thinking she would do the same, add the money up, write it down and give it back to me but i never got it back so that was a confuser for me. but oh well
so again.. every family is diff ...
with ghar ki salami, my parents added it up, and divided it amongst my cousins for helping out with the wedding.
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
Whatever money we got on our Mendhi function - we decided to give away to charity.
The money given on shaadi/ walima is for Bride and Groom. :)
what i got on valima, i gave to my mil thinking she would do the same, add the money up, write it down and give it back to me but i never got it back so that was a confuser for me. but oh well
She probably thought you gave it all to her! :)
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
we also donated all our salaamis from our mayoun and mehndi to the musjid and gave sadaqa. both his family and mine gave us all the cash/salaamis/gifts form the wedding and valima the day after the valima. we paid back both sets of parents for their costs and donated quite a bit to various charities. the rest we're planning on using for a down payment on a house, iA.
SGC i love ur avator ...
thanks citrine! :)
nabz, thats awesome!
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
Technically the salami money belongs to the bride and groom, who can later decide on whether to spend it on themselves, give it back to parents, charity etc.. The guests from each side give either directly to the bride or the groom depending upon who invited them but mostly give to the parents of the bride/ groom. Sadly enough, mostly in laws don't give the salami it to the bride. I usually therefore make it a point to give the salami directly to the bride so she can keep it. In my case, my MIL took all my salami money as well (that people gave me directly). In fact when I visited people's homes for the first time with her and they gave me money as a newly wed bride, she took that too !!
Re: Salaami/Wedding gifts
^ Really...
Salami ka samajh aata hai if she took it, but the other money u got from relatives was totally yours.....
Anyway in our family usually the salami given to bride and groom belongs to them and the money given to the parents or in-laws belongs to them.