i have a problem that i need some good advice on and i only want helpfull replies please.
well here is the situation:
its a clasic case actually, i know this guy for over 3 years at first we were good friends but then something happend that made us both realize that we both love each other and cant live without each other. anyways, so the problem is that marriages out side the family arent allowed , i was wodering if there is anyway that i can convince my parents without them knowing that i know him. he wants to send his parents to my house but i know my father will just say no beacuse he is outside the family so that option is out , anyother help would be greatly appricated and rewarded by wedding picture if possible . inshah-allah.
how come everyone on this board is falling in love these days after a certain period of three or four yrs.. rolling eyes!
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*Originally posted by Chand-Ki-Pari: *
anyother help would be greatly appricated and rewarded by wedding picture if possible . inshah-allah.
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hehe this is kind of cute :-)
since I love looking at the wedding pics, here is a piece of advice, tell your mom about it and ask him to send his parents.. your mom can handle the situation and would ask your dad to look at the "rishta" even if it is someone outside from your family.. I am quite sure you mom will listen to you and would be able to let your dad know about your interest in a mature way.
Talk to your mum, start a casual conversation about marriages, tell her how you find the idea of marrying someone in the family disgusting how all your male cousins are like brothers to you, talk about the gene pool thing and how it’s unhealthy for the children if their parents were related (especially after lots of generations of interbreeding) and generally healthier if they were unrelated, make some story up about how you know of a cousin couple who’s kids turned out messed up/demented and died at young tender ages.
I don’t really like any of my cousins, not coz I think of them as sisters but because they are all mingin mangi’s, so I told my mum all this and she seems to be coming off the idea of cousin marriages.
It takes a while but if you are patient and preserve they will eventually come round to the idea of marriages outside the family, once you got them thinking that way have his family ask for your rishta, kahein na kahein to shaadi karwani hi hogi, why not with him?
well, like the guppies said, get ur mom in on it.. or if thats not possible, maybe sibs or someone very close to ur family.. And if marriages outside ur family isnt allowed, mayeb ur mom can manage to pull it off byy sayin rishta family friends ki taraf se aya hai, so that way ur father wont reject them right away. Or maybe ur mother can talk to them, ivite them over a few times.. as getting to knwo a family she met at some party.. n once ur dad gets to know them as friends (his guards will be down), he might change his mind about them n about the whole marryin outsde the family.
Pack up all the jewelry you own. Trick your mother into handing it all to you somehow. You're doing an assignment on the evolution of Pakistani jewelry designs.
Place all your jewelry in a malmal ka dupatta.
Tie the knot on the malmal ka dupatta.
Have your Sanam Dil-Ruba arrive in front of your gate on the said ghora at 1 a.m.
Jump onto the ghora with said Sanam Dil-Ruba and make a run for a motel he's rented out for the night. Please remain on good behavior.
Take the next flight to Austrailia - have someone to a nikkah for you there. Live a life of paradise in Sydney. Have lots of children.
First of all I dont understand when you said that marriage outside the family is not allowed? Why is that?
The solution will be to tell the mom as everyone said. Just talk to her about general stuff and then tell her why you like the guy and what good qualities he has. I am sure your mom will be interested in the family and what he does and other important things. Once your mom knows about them it will be fine.
Another solution would be that they come for rishta with someone that knows your family. For example one of your friends family or some neighbors that your family and his family knows. ONce the rishta comes I am sure that your family will think about it. And until then start calling all your cousines bhai.
Chand-Ki-Pari, contant a sheikh and discuss it with him/her.
Islamically, wali (father) cannot say no to a good proposal (given that the guy is religious, has good morals, etc.) cannot say no for an unIslamic reason.
If your wali (father) says no, then you can probably get your nikkah done with the help of an imaam.
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*Originally posted by Chand-Ki-Pari: *
salaam
i have a problem that i need some good advice on and i only want helpfull replies please.
well here is the situation:
its a clasic case actually, i know this guy for over 3 years at first we were good friends but then something happend that made us both realize that we both love each other and cant live without each other. anyways, so the problem is that marriages out side the family arent allowed , i was wodering if there is anyway that i can convince my parents without them knowing that i know him. he wants to send his parents to my house but i know my father will just say no beacuse he is outside the family so that option is out , anyother help would be greatly appricated and rewarded by wedding picture if possible . inshah-allah.
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^ am sorry to break this to you but you have no chance, unless there is disparity btw financial situations within yr family, with yrs being better or in education, with yrs being the better one.
a family which does not marry outside itself, is in tact enough to not fall for the bull Nadir is feeding you.
having said that, there is one way..........apni family mai kisi banday ki karwaa doa us ki kisi gharwalee sai. generally, even if a family tends to marry inside, guys get allowed to marry outside more than women, cuz bandoan kaa darkha laga rehta hai, kaheen chorh charh kai kisi farangi sai na kar lai, agar us ki naa sunoa toa.
so find a dil painkh in yr family, and hook him up with some duur ki rishtaydaar of his. phir woh bhi khandaan ban jaiy gaa.
khair all this is a joke, u r in for some nice n tender heart break.
