So I’ve noticed on here and in general that people never accept the fault of their own family, especially parents. Yes we love our parents and they are our role models but when they’re doing something wrong, is it okay for that to be ignored? People constantly talk about their spouses motherfathersisterchachamami and their flaws but always make their own parents look completely innocent. Is that normal? Is it okay to let these things slide or do we simply not notice any flaws in our own family? I don’t understand this concept at all, because it comes from everyone even people who appear to be very justice/open-minded/honest
If your parents are the ones not giving your bhabi stuff then there is no problem, but as soon as you receive one carrat less gold than expected, in-laws become monsters and cheap? Same goes for people who talk about their extended families being jealous or unkind to them, ever think that maybe your parents play a role in that as well? I mean how many of us can REALLY say that your Mum’s don’t gossip and is a saint sitting on the musala all day? I know we have to respect them and love them but does that mean we keep quite when they’re doing something wrong yet raise hell if it’s someone else?
Maybe I just don’t understand because I had a different life experience. I probably lack attachment to my own parents, not because I don’t love them or they don’t love me but my lifestyle was different so all us siblings have a very distance relationship with our Mum. We’re very attached to my Dad but when he does something wrong, we don’t let it slide or we amongst ourselves discuss his wrong doing even though we are so close to him.
If there has ever been problems in our extended family we have always shown a 'united front' and backed our parents 100% in public. In private though we would confront our parents if we thought they were been unreasonable. Parents are not perfect, they are just people that had children, they can make mistakes just like everyone else.
If there has ever been problems in our extended family we have always shown a 'united front' and backed our parents 100% in public. In private though we would confront our parents if we thought they were been unreasonable. Parents are not perfect, they are just people that had children, they can make mistakes just like everyone else.
Exactly, then why do their children act like they are perfect. I mean is this what we're supposed to do?
If there has ever been problems in our extended family we have always shown a 'united front' and backed our parents 100% in public. In private though we would confront our parents if we thought they were been unreasonable. Parents are not perfect, they are just people that had children, they can make mistakes just like everyone else.
I have no problem letting my parents know where they were wrong and unjust. However, when in front of other people I usually back up my parents............unless of course they are totally in the wrong or are the only ones to blame.
My own mum was a nightmare to my SIL during the engagement period and for a while after marriage.. Luckily everyone in our immediate family could see it (inc my brother) and pulled her up on it.. Ppl shouldn't be so blind to their parents' faults, they are human after all.. They should put themselves in the position of the girl or guy who is being picked on or being given a hard time and wonder what it would feel like if they were in those shoes and no-one spoke out :(
I agree with the fact that people should do something if they see their parents behaving unreasonably but a lot of the times the children are oblivious, they just hear their parent's biased point of view, so although the children aren't advocating the negative behaviour they aren't putting a stop to it either.
There is no honour in blaming problems on parents of either the spouse or ones own parents. The better thing to do is to take the blame yourself ... even when it is not true.
People think that 'truth' is more important than everything ... let me tell you it is less than "love and respect" ...
It is bad adab to criticise parents even when they are in the wrong - if we can't take the blame on their behalf then we should remain silent.
There is no honour in blaming problems on parents of either the spouse or ones own parents. The better thing to do is to take the blame yourself ... even when it is not true.
People think that 'truth' is more important than everything ... let me tell you it is less than "love and respect" ...
It is bad adab to criticise parents even when they are in the wrong - if we can't take the blame on their behalf then we should remain silent.
I don't mean it in that sense, ofcourse there is the adab and respect we have for parents and sometimes that love even blinds us to their flaws. What I'm saying is, instead of blaming the other person for all the issues (DIL/your aunts and uncles) maybe look at the whole situation. It's not about the truth, it's about doing the right thing. Don't bash on other people when it's your own sister or mother causing the problem.
Accepting someone's fault is one thing and accepting fault & announcing it around the world it another. Most of us do secretly not only accept parents fault but also work on fixing it without spreading it, which I believe is cute and appropriate.
I love my parents and I think that they are saints.
Others might have negative experiences from that parents , that does not make my parents evil. The fact still remains that I had a good childhood , youth , and for the rest of my life my parents never showed any kind of parental weakness and they deserve to sit on high pedestal.
My positive experience with my parents does not mean that others did not have bad experience with their parents .
Both sets of offspring have the right to give feedback about their parents.