I was reading somewhere that rules in relationships (any relationship not just SO) are a killer. Instead of hard core rules we should have conversations. True or no? Do you have any rules in your relationships?
Rules may be a killer but setting boundaries are necessary.
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^Agree
Two people can have all the conversations they want, but in the end those conversations will all boil down to …or circle back to…boundaries that both persons will have to agree on. In order to meet each other half way or to reach a mutual compromise, boundaries eill
utimately have to be set. Rules might have a harsher or more unyielding connotation to them, so a softer word such as boundaries can be used instead. Nevertheless (and this depends on the boundaries) there has to be some flexibility in the equation. For instance, if taking turns with household chores is a boundary or limit that has to be met, flexibility should be shown if the other person is sick or legit busy etc.
Rules are for kids …
Respect and Mutual Understanding honi chahiyaaa
Setting boundaries as how? If you set them hardcore they will become rules whether you want to call them with any word. Thats the point of asking the original question
Once again you are emphasizing on using/not using the key word rule.
But kaan idhar se pakro ya udhar se, how is it different?
In my humble opinion the important think is reasoning. Give the valid reasons, dont make it hardcore , set the exceptions so it clearly looks like a logical thing more than a straightforward rule (whether you call it with any word). Makes sense?
100% agreed with the last sentence. And even for kids its for young kids. Once they are teenagers you push the “rule” and they will find the workaround. The author in my case gave the example of late night curfew imposed by his parents and how his sister found ways to evade that
[quote=““humming bird””]
Setting boundaries as how? If you set them hardcore they will become rules whether you want to call them with any word. Thats the point of asking the original question
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Rules should be unspoken, after all you are in a relationship, not a classroom. Once you get to know each other’s likes and dislikes and would like to stay committed then yeah follow what makes your partner happy (hopefully they are doing the same for you). Sitting down and agreeing upon a bunch of rules is not necessary, imo.
[quote=““humming bird””]
100% agreed with the last sentence. And even for kids its for young kids. Once they are teenagers you push the “rule” and they will find the workaround. The author in my case gave the example of late night curfew imposed by his parents and how his sister found ways to evade that
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evading rules in teenage is part of the learning processes …
try and find their creativity out in that … block those loop holes and let them come up with new innovation.
let them learn these thing … look at the bright side 
But do teach them with love / care whats right and wrong … let them be the one to differentiate … it will be their decision after all .
I think I will understand it better if its in simple words. A extract by a sophisticated writer is a little too much for me
Very well said. Completely agreed.
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I dont know about the test of creativity here. But overall the idea of having a conversation in place of imposition appears far more effective. Creativity can be judged while making a convo as well
[quote=““humming bird””]
I was reading somewhere that rules in relationships (any relationship not just SO) are a killer. Instead of hard core rules we should have conversations. True or no? Do you have any rules in your relationships?
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I think conversation IS important..making sure that ya don’t step on each other’s toes. Keeping in mind..that everyone of us are different..so communication is the key!. That is what i learnt in relationship!