a bit of a situation … when we were plannin the wedding this new trend of having a nikkah mehndi and one big reception was introduced and since we were having grand events we stuck to it … my parents were against it but … you know … what happens eventually.
We got all the bookings done like that .. all arrangements decided and now suddenly someone in the family wakes up and asks everyone when should the rukhsati take place which was assumed before to naturally take place on the last day of the reception …
soo shud i fight to keep it the same day or be rukhsatofied on the mehndi ? is that ok ? mom says then it shud be called the ruksati and it wont be a mehndi anymore … my dress is preped mehndi style. one big blob of mess
^ agree. just go according to the plan. if u ant a valima for religious purposes then just have a family lunch from the guys side (im sure that there will be many post wedding anyway) and that is the true islamic valima. :)
Defo go as planned.. rukhsati should be on baraat day imo.. if this doesnt solve the prob you can also do nikkah on baraat and do mehndi event separately
Go as planned. The rukhsati is suppose to be on the day of Barat (reception). For walima, you're suppose to arrive with Groom and inlaws. Whoever suggested rukhsati on mehendi due to Nikkah must have eaten something wrong, no offense lol.
^ lol none taken .. i knoww theyve eaten something wrong!!
discussed it with them and waiting to hear back ...
basically 6 months ago the grand mehndi and grand reception which is basically combined from both sides concept came up and it suited us cuz there were going to be 500+ guests on all occasions ... we saw a bulk of money going out the window otherwise ... so in this scenario it was UNDERSTOOD that the rukhsati was supposed to be on the reception
until i brought up that valimas dinner is necessary we can do it in the family or even better give it off to the poor .. since the valima thingy is the guys thing they asked around and everyone said valima ka khana is THE ONLY official dinner ... which is basically after the rukhsati .. now with less than a month left we cant have another thingy with all the bookings done ... thts why rukhsati on mehndi concept came up -_- so the reception compensates the valima requirements.
Valima is mustahaib , so u can have a small lunch ...when there is such a lavish wedding then don't forgo the Islamic principles, have a smaller affair (just ur family n his ) and give the rest of the amount to the poor.
As we wanted two big combined functions also. We had Mehndi and nikkah on same day - Nikkah first and then Mehndi (I had two different dresses that day). Then rukhsati from home the next day (we had a small dinner at home) and then a big reception (I wore red though and wore a ligh colour for nikkah outfit).
I had my rukhsati on my reception day. We had our nikkah in the masjid on Friday, large mehndi on Saturday and reception on Sunday. The valima dinner will be satisfied with your reception dinner, because valima is the dinner after your NIKKAH, not after your rukhsati. I believe it is just Pakistani culture that stresses the valima after rukhsati. In Arabs, they have a nikkah, and then valima - and rukhsati happens at the valima.
Islamically the walimah is supposed to be a declaration/celebration of the groom informing/telling he is friends and family that he has married. And hence after the rukhsati .
If there is a delay btw nikah and rukhsati why should this change the valima ?
Islamically the walimah is supposed to be a declaration/celebration of the groom informing/telling he is friends and family that he has married. And hence after the rukhsati .
If there is a delay btw nikah and rukhsati why should this change the valima ?
You are considered married after your nikkah, not after your rukhsati. Islamically, the only requirement to be married is to have a nikkah ceremony performed.
yes but it is mustahab to have a walima on two occasions: after marriage n hajj..more sawab .when we have such big weddings etc y skip out on a small luncheon and that's all is required. we have made everything so grand n elaborate that it's hard to follow religion sometimes.
