Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

[Bint_e_Naeem]

It wasn't done at any of us sisters' Rukhsati. While we have been seeing this tradition for the longest time during Rukhsatis. It is indeed a Biddah.

We have adopted this culture from the time when India & Pakistan were one nation. Someone please correct me if I am wrong but it's a Hindu tradition to "daan" your daughter under Bhagwat Geeta. No significance in Islam about this.

Ps Some of us do lurk around in the religion forum as well.

[jalebi121]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

Yes, it’s technically a bidat, but it does not bother me. I mean, people have mehndis, listen to music, have their eyebrows done, and paint loads of junk on their face (all bidat)…I don’t see people getting married exchanging camels and giving dates and a lota as a dowry that often..

[Deeba1234]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

@jalebi121

Yes, it’s technically a bidat, but it does not bother me. I mean, people have mehndis, listen to music, have their eyebrows done, and paint loads of junk on their face (all bidat)…I don’t see people getting married exchanging camels and giving dates and a lota as a dowry that often..

Bits in bold are not bidat.. They might be wrong Islamically but they aren’t religious innovations which is what bidat means..

Believing that the Qur’an should be held over the head as an Islamic practice is the problem..

[PeshawarKameez]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

@StrangeOne

The tradition has died out in my family. Haven’t seen it happen in ages. It has zero religious value so no body cared enough to maintain the tradition.

when has the big ridiculous wedding ever been about Islam anyways? its always been a cultural thing, just an excuse to party and show-off your wealth

[StrangeOne]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

@PeshawarKameez

when has the big ridiculous wedding ever been about Islam anyways? its always been a cultural thing, just an excuse to party and show-off your wealth

So, randomly generalising about pretty much everything is your head is your thing, eh? Some lady was showing me her wedding pics where her sisters were wearing lawn. That’s the average Pakistani wedding and not the 1% of people who do excess. But you’ve obviously got everything figured out so go on.

[Muzna]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

Used to be standard practice…still done in my family in Pakistan…but not here.
The implication is that you are sent off in the “shadow of the Quran”.

[OYMWA]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

@TLK

I know this thread could be in Religion, but like to hear from married ladies, and somehow they dont come to Religion forum

They do. But are parda-nasheen.

[OYMWA]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

@Mirch

And here goes the concept of “burkut” out of the window.
If it has any burkut you should have been thinking that this beautiful scene should never end.

haha…the burkut is in his biceps.

[VintageSpring]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

@Pisiform

at my sisters wedding, I was the one holding the Quran and to tell you the truth not very comfortable and my hand and shoulder got really tired because she was moving too slow and crying. I just wanted to push her

From the various wedding videos I’ve watched on YouTube, that’s always evident from the brothers/father’s faces in wedding videos. I feel so sorry for them lol.

[VintageSpring]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

@iMakeUpLover

It’s bidah. What’s holding a Quran over her head going to do? It’s not going to protect her or bless their marriage in any way. I find it so disrespectful when there’s a rukhsati song playing on full volume and someone’s holding a Quran over the bride’s head. There’s no logic behind it

I think that’s the reason why they hold it. Because it’s meant to protect her. I don’t think holding it there would do much benefit as opposed to if she read it.

[automne77]

I got married without this rasm. I was dead against it. My parents were a little taken back but agreed when I convinced them. My abbu did gift me a quran and a handmade embroidered and beaded cover. Best present ever

[TLK]

@jalebi121:10281234

Yes, it’s technically a bidat, but it does not bother me. I mean, people have mehndis, listen to music, have their eyebrows done, and paint loads of junk on their face (all bidat)…

No, what you mentioned is not biddah. Definition of biddah is when you introduce a new act in Islam with a thought that it will result in sawab. No one plays songs in weddings with the intention of getting sawab out of it.

[Laiha]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

@SID_NY

Yes it’s everywhere but I think it’s more of a culture thing by saying hey you are departing under the holy book which means ALLAH will save you. It doesn’t mean it’s necessary so if someone doesn’t want to do it, nobody is going to kill them.

If I’m not wrong bidaat is something which doesn’t hv a religious reference but still acted like its necessary. But this thing is more of a custom

^ This.

It’s like a doodh pilai ki rasm or rasta rokna rasm but more meaningful? The families who carry out this tradition know that there is no Islamic significance behind it. It’s more like a feel-good thing for the parents/siblings who are saying their alvida. Kind of like giving their blessing to her. The Quran that is held over the bride’s head is gifted to her by her family and she takes it with her to her new home.

It’s never bothered me. In fact, out of all the non-Islamic traditions we do, I actually like this one and would like to have it at my wedding too.

The people who are saying it’s disrespectful because there is music playing (majority of the times, the music usually is added in the wedding video…there is no actual music playing at most weddings except the ones that have a dj and have paid him/her to stay till the very end of the night)…there are only so many rukhsati songs that are played over and over. The lyrics or music aren’t offensive/provocative in any way. They just showcase the feelings of the bride and her family at that very moment. Again, I don’t see how that’s disrespectful. It’s not like the song is being played over tilawat or something.

[Muzna]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

^ Ask those that consider music to be haram…

[Laiha]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

@Muzna

^ Ask those that consider music to be haram…

Those that consider music to be haram likely won’t be playing it at their family weddings so there is no issue then. But if they are attending someone else’s wedding and pointing fingers (which is so typical of desis!) then I’d just say, worry about your own deeds and let others live. Kya khayal hai?

[Mad_Hatter]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

Yup. I did it, wasn’t keen but on the day wasn’t really focussed on it.

RV my brother’s wedding was like that. He had his wedding in a marquee in a huge grounds with a manor house, we had to go alll the way round to his car (and then turn around cos we went in the wrong direction). All while her brother held the quran over his head (and was moaning “My arm’s so tired, omg so tired!” lol!

[PeshawarKameez]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

@StrangeOne

So, randomly generalising about pretty much everything is your head is your thing, eh? Some lady was showing me her wedding pics where her sisters were wearing lawn. That’s the average Pakistani wedding and not the 1% of people who do excess. But you’ve obviously got everything figured out so go on.

1% of people - ONE PERCENT does the excess wedding?!
do you live in a village or something? and please tell us all where you got this source from then, as you apparently seem to know more than me. where did you get these facts
from then, that only 1% of pakistanis have the grand wedding?

[ShimmerV]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

Meri to ruksati he nahi huwi cuz the photo sessions took so long by the time it got over, the tent people had dismantled the entire setup and there was barely any light & after that it became quite spooky to stay there and do the rukhsati so we just sat in our cars and drove away!

Its a good thing though cuz I dont cry easily & that day specially I didn’t feel like crying at all.

Actually come to think of it i didn’t see any rukhsati saman around me hmm I Dont think my parents came prepared quite honestly waise my parents were a lil clueless throughout the wedding lol

[StrangeOne]

Re: Rukhsati while Quran being held over the head

@PeshawarKameez

1% of people - ONE PERCENT does the excess wedding?!
do you live in a village or something? and please tell us all where you got this source from then, as you apparently seem to know more than me. where did you get these facts
from then, that only 1% of pakistanis have the grand wedding?

60 million Pakistanis live under the poverty line. That’s under 2 dollars a day. You may dismiss them as mere village folk and not consider them as Pakistanis but I do. They are the real Pakistan. Just because you do not them deign them worthy of being called Pakistani and they don’t have the resources or the leisure time like you do to sit on the Internet and announce their existence does not mean they don’t exist.