hi all.
i was just wondering what traditions fellow guppies brides have at rukhsati?
i’ve known for the brother to hold a quran above the brides head as she walks off but isn’t that more of a tradition as opposed to Islamic?
i might be wrong so pls excuse me if i am!
also anything else that is done around then?xx
yikes!....sori bout all that giberish in the first post! this is wot i meant to post!:
hi all.
i was just wondering what traditions fellow guppies brides have at rukhsati
i've known for the brother to hold a quran above the brides head as she walks off but isn't that more of a tradition as opposed to Islamic?
i might be wrong so pls excuse me if i am!
also anything else that is done around then?xx
Re: rukhsati
well nowadays i've hardly seen any bride with Quran on head at rukhsati time...i blv its all cultural and most of the ppl today don't do this rasam... It's nothing islamic tho!
well this is what i think lets see what other have got to say... Interesting thread :)
Re: rukhsati
I think it's great to have rukhsati with Quran on your head..!
Re: rukhsati
well its nothing to do with islam bt den i dont see a harm in it,
but all this rice throwing and stuff that is neither in islam and not in our culture even though ive seen many ppl do it , even ppl in my own family .
Re: rukhsati
rice throwing i've seen in indians mostly then in Pakistan i guess sindh side....
haven't seen much in punjabi's..
Re: rukhsati
rice throwing, quran over head
then the in laws have thier own rasams when they come back to the hotel or to their house
Re: rukhsati
I like the Quran over head rasam.
Its not islamic..but I'd like to keep the cultural traditions in tact as well as the islamic values.
hmmm, i'm thinking of maybe not doing this part then....will discuss it with my family first of course! lol
i went to a wedding recently where they didnt make a big deal of the rukhsati.... there was no heart wrenching song playing in the background, no rice/flower throwing or quran held above the head by the brother .... the bride was simply walked out by her close family....given pardah and off she went.
personally i thought that was quite nice
i've bin at weddings where i dont even know the girl too well but as soon as a song like babul ke dua lethi ja comes on....my eyes well up!!
its def gonna be an emotional day...but i dont know if these added extra's are needed.
am i being wierd?!!!! lol
Even I get emotional of emotional background music, like you mentioned, or for that matter if I see someone crying...a lot.
But you know, I can´t stand that artificial ´crying´at the Rukhsati time. If it comes natural then alright, nobody can stop you, but crying because you are ´supposed to´ is sooooooo passé.
A graceful rukhsati with close family, is the most charming.
yeh, i've bin to weddings where the bride is sobbing away and then she's got cousins/sisters wailing at her side!....i'm not saying its bad.... every situation is different ...like if bride is going far from the parents then of course its bound to be upsetting cos its her final moment there
but i'm lucky enough to be staying in the same city ...only a 10 min drive.
Re: rukhsati
And its person to person aswell... nobody cries to show off or anything!
Some grls are more expressive and cry infront of their family and friends, while some are shy or strong (what ever u'll call it) they control their emotions and do not cry in front of everyone..
I would say if you can, stay away from the whole Quran over head thing. Personal opinion its disrespectful. As far as Islam is concerned its not right. The whole Quran thing was actually adopted by us Pakistanis from Indians. Its a Hindu tradition where the bride is given away under Geeta. Anything religious thing that we adopt from another religion & incorporate in to our life style automatically becomes a sin. Like I don't mind celebrating Thanksgiving but Christmas or Dewali is a whole different story.
My family has been doing the Quran thing as long as I remember for. I am gonna be the first bride not doing it InshaAllah & hopefully not the last.
hey wuts tht raasam ur MIL does when u go the guys house after wedding? just curious bc my MIL wouldnt allow me to go over her house bc she said she doesnt want me to enter b4 the raasam and i didnt know wut tht was bc we’ve nvr done tht in my family?? which i think s kindda cute she wouldnt allow me inside the house
i’ve heard that is a hindu tradtion thats be followed thru and adapted…i’m going to ask that my brothers not do this because as you said i dont see the link to islam…their dua’s are all i need 
but then saying this…what about the doodh pali? and the chooti chopai? obviously all of the originally traditons are indian…if not hindu.
in relation to Rsheikh’s question…you may wanna ask wot rasam’s they do.
i’ve heard of many…
*some ask the bride to read from the quran once entering the house…i dunno bout this one…my sis in laws did this but wot about the fact that they are not in the state of wazu?..is unlikley after a hectic day like wedding!!!
*also they var milk or water over the brides/grooms head 7 times before they enter the house…mother is supposed to drink from the and the son is supposed to stop her!!..this i think is sikh/indian influenced
*i’ve heard of mother in law or another elder spilling oil at the corner of the entrance before bride enters house
*something about tipping over a bowlfull of rice with ur feet.
and then walking over cotton wool
also…recently i heard of a diffrent rasam, where the girl came in and is usually asked to sit facing ete wall!..usually on the floor but was allowed to sit on a chair due to her outfit.
the family is from pakistan…not punjab tho…closer to islamabad i think
anyone heard of this before?
what about the doodh pali? and the chooti chopai? obviously all of the originally traditons are indian...if not hindu.
Doodh Pilai/Jootha Chupai/Ungli Pakrai are basically the same rasams with different names. As far as I know they don't have any religious meaning so I guess they are okay. Following a certain country's tradition doesn't matter as long as its not non Islamic.