Re: Rude children
Blackmailing is a form of bullying....not only among children, but adults as well...and it's seen in various settings. Here's a common example among SIBLINGS (not just neighborhood/school kids)...."If you tell Mom on me, then I'm gonna tell her what you did the other day"...or "If you don't this or let me have this....then I'm telling Ammi/Abu bla bla bla"
Not trying to justify the bullying.....but you can't get rid of bullies. They're out there....they WILL be out there even when your kids are grown. And sometimes YOUR OWN kids may be the ones to bully others. Since your son put up with the abuse for such a long time, do you think that maybe he has some self-esteem issues? My suggestion would be that you talk to your children (not just one of them)...about respecting themselves, about how bullying is wrong and they shouldn't do it themselves, and what their options are when confronted with such as situation.
It's good that your son told you...but (IMO) it seemed he waited a while before he did. Sometimes it can be dangerous to wait. And then as he grows older, Mommy can't fight all the battles for him. You mentioned getting angry at him for it. But I think it's important to actually discuss the seriousness of the situation and how to manage it.
You always have excellence advice and interesting input in any discussion. Thank you.
I wasn't angry at my son though about what happened, I was angry they had blackmailed him and wished he would have told me before. He first only told me they beat him up, I talked to them several times asking them to stop at the time. But my son didn't mention right away they were blackmailing him too for food and other stuff. He did have an issue with his self esteem. After a long talk, that came out too.
Now it's better than before. However, several people mentioned here as well how bullying has always excisted. I had forgotten about that, because what happened now is more brutal than what I had experienced and seen when growing up. I've been bullied too when growing up, but that was mostly about having to wear shalwar kamiez, being the only Pakistani in my school and the only person in that type of clothing while everyone else had jeans and other western style clothing. I also remember now how one child bullied me sometimes to give him the money my mother had given me to buy tomatoes or onions from a Turkish masjid in our neighbourhood, that child would see me heading to the shop of the masjid and would scare and bully me to give him that money.
I think I probably overreacted by saying that children from my youth didn't do these things. This just seemed worse, perhaps because now it wasn't me, but my child and it hurts more when they do something to my child than when they do it to me. And I was bullied in a different way than my son. He has been beaten up by these same blackmailing kids and their friends several times and once, when I had had it after my son came home after being beaten up again by them, I was more strict in telling them to leave my child alone, then their mother with another female came to my front door, asking me if I was his mother, when I said yes, she beat me up, came in while beating me up, then the other female with her helped her, meanwhile their kid who had beaten up my son several times and blackmailed him with his brother, was there too, watching and laughing happily. They had begun harrassing us, all I had done was asking them to leave us alone, yet they and their family beat us up for nothing really.
So all this seemed worse than people of years ago, but it's true, people who harrass other people have always excisted and I shouldn't just blame this current new generation.
Thanks everyone for listening and letting me vent. Sometimes I need that, sometimes I need criticism, sometimes I just need the opinion of other people for reality check to know if I'm not overreacting to something.
Everybody grab a stone…“Maaro maaro!!!” Lol.
