Hi All!
I have been blessed with twins who came about two months early. Things are going great, thank God! I wondered if I could get some advice on an issue we have been having with desi relatives and see how you would reccomend we deal with them.
The issue is hand washing. As the babes were so early, they are at a very high risk of contracting RSV. For most adults, RSV is no more than a cold. But for babies, it could be hospitalization. And for preemies with underdeveloped lungs, it can mean death. Our doctor has told us not to have anyone touch the babies that has not washed their hands and used hand santizer. And even then, we should try to limit contact. This has been a major problem with my husbands family- even in the hospital, when my babies were hooked up to tubes and where there are huge signs instructing every visitor to wash their hands. I even heard one relative get in a fight with a nurse while trying to enter the NICU without washing their hands.
I just dont understand what the problem is. How do I explain the risk and get them to wash their hands? I cant risk my babies lives for their egos!!
My twins were born at 33 weeks and had extended stays in the NICU. They had the RSV vaccinations for the first 2 years of their life. I took this VERY seriously! We did not allow excessive holding or handling by anyone except a limited few people (grandparents and our immediate family only). Visitors were kept far, far away and asked to wash their hands before touching them. I got a lot of slack and offended some people but I didn’t care! The health of my newborn preemies was
more important to me then anything!
I had my husbands full support with this. We were housebound for a while and didn’t do a lot of socializing but with preemie twins and a toddler, that suited us just fine! Stand your ground mommy!!!
Thanks! Mine were 33 weeks too! But as they are my first, we only got 3 months of the shot. My MIL is the worst offender and it is really hurting our relationship. She told me that “being cold” causes colds not dirty hands. Sigh.
Congrats on the twins! You need to get your husband on board, make him read literature regarding this and if needed talk to the kids doctor and get him/her to have a talk with your hubby regarding this issue. Its important the father of the kids is on board and holds ground firmly for his kids sake.
“being cold” causes cold is very common for people to say backhome.. your husband needs to deal with your MIL. you should just concentrate on your babies and exercise as much caution as you can.. if anyone gets offended, they can go home!!
Are you living with in laws?
Are you in Pakistan?
Can you let everyone know that doc has ordered limited visitors for first few months and you will let everyone know when you are ready to take visitors? or just dont answer calls if they want to come over, that is if they call before showing up at your doorstep!
you need to stand up for your kids.. sooner the better!
Thanks everyone! We are in the states- I am not Pakistani and my husband is on board. We may just have to ask his family not to visit. Which is sad but the last thing I need is a fight over this!
Could someone explain to me the cultural implications behind not washing your hands. A lot of stuff has surprised me but this just makes no sense.
your MIL of all people should be better about this! uff!
tell your husband to lay down the law for her. she doesn’t have to like it or accept it, but if she wants to hold the babies, that’s the rule.
also, there is NO cultural implication behind it. its just poor hygiene, and in your case, thoughtless and careless too.
banning them entirely might just be the best way of doing this. less stress for you, and everyone can’t get offended because they’re* all *banned lol. there’s no preferential treatment there.
I had a 31 weeker, same exact concerns. What I did was put a whole bunch of hand sanitizer out around the house especially when I knew we were having visitors. When it came time to touch or hold the baby, my smarter relatives would wash hands but the ones who didn’t have the common sense, I would literally get up and squirt some sanitizer in their hands before giving them the baby. It wasn’t taken as impolite since I wasn’t asking them to go wash their hands (i guess, this would imply i think you are dirty or something) but I was like offering them the sanitizer right there and once one person took it, all others followed without complaint.
No I’m not sayings thats just the desi mindset. But its the only reason I could think of that someone (desi or non-desi) would be offended at a request to wash hands.
You can politely say that the doctor has ordered restricted visitation until at least 2 months. This is to make sure the children have developed their lungs and strengthen their immune system.
This approach usually works and is the best way to go.
However OP…be prepared, for some thickheaded people who still won’t quite understand. Can you believe I actually had people in my family (my own aunt!) “drop by” to see the babies after they had just left a public swimming pool and were still in their swimwear?!?
And they still couldn’t quite understand why I would not bring out a 4.5lb premature baby who was just released from the NICU so that they could hold it.
