A telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.
This actually has some deeper message.
To those of you who are (still) in Asia: it ain’t getting better, that’s for sure
To those of you who left Asia: now you remember why
To those of you who think about moving to Asia: don’t
To those of you who have never stayed in Asia: this is what it’s like out here (most of the time).
Room Service: “Morny. Ruin Sorbees”
Guest: “Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service”
Room Service: “Rye.. Ruin sorbees..morny. Djewish to oder sunteen?”
Guest: “Uh..yes..I’d like some bacon and eggs”
Room Service: “Ow July den?”
Guest: “What?”
Room Service: “Ow July den?..pry, boy, pooch?”
Guest: “Oh, the eggs…How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please”
Room Service: “Ow July dee baychem…crease?”
Guest: “Crisp will we fine”
Room Service: “Hokay. An santos?”
Guest: “What?”
Room Service: “Santos, July Santos?”
Guest: “I don’t think so”
Room Service: “No? Judo one toes?”
Guest: “I feel really bad about this, but I don’t know what ‘judo one toes’ means.”
Room Service: “Toes, toes… Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?”
Guest: “English muffin! I’ve got it, You were saying Toast, fine yes, an English muffin will be fine”
Room Service: “We bother?”
Guest: “No..just the bother on the side”
Room Service: “Wad?”
Guest: “I mean butter…just put the butter on the side”
Room Service: “Copy?”
Guest: “Sorry?”
Room Service: “Copy..tea..mill?”
Guest: “Yes, coffee please, and that’s all”
Room Service: “One minnie. a$$ ruin tornio fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy…rye?”
Guest: “Whatever you say”
Room Service: “Tendjewberrymud”
Guest: “You’re welcome”