so my friend has this fear of having to be alone in a room, she shares her room with her sister at night, but soon she has to move out for a job she’s landed in another town, and no matter how hard she tries, she can’t sleep through the night if shes alone in a room. this obviously limits her options of finding a decent place to stay at where she’s going, since she has no real relatives/friends there as such. moreover in the long run, it won’t help any if she continues with this fear in her head. she’s not really seen a doc or something about this, cos she thinks it’s a bit stupid anyway. any suggestions as to how one can overcome such a fear? suggestions u know, not poor attempts at humour , thankyou : )
Re: room alone phobia
Desensitization is the only way. It may sound stupid to her to bring upto a professional, but if it's hindering her lifestyle because she can't sleep in a room alone then perhaps she should talk to someone. So while she's still at home, why doesn't she try sleeping alone in her room, while her sister sleeps elsewhere? She might not sleep the first nite, or second night, but sleep will overcome her eventually.
Re: room alone phobia
how long has she been like this?
Any trumatic events in her life that triggered it?
These things just dont sneak up on you, just sayin'.
She should see a shrink and i know what the shrink will do. Same thing they do to people who are scared of flying.
Re: room alone phobia
I agree with Sahar. She needs to face it head on. Tell her sister to leave her alone at night for an hour one night (time can vary depending how advanced her fear is), if she manages to remain calm the first night when left alone for an hour, try it for two hours the second night and continue till she feels comfortable. Do it slowly though, it cannot be rushed. Make sure her sister tells her what shes doing though! Don't just leave the poor lass without her knowing.
Advise her to try some relaxation techniques too, but do them with somebody, things like praying, meditation, yoga, I can't think of anymore right now, but whatever she feels comfortable with. Also advise her to see her doctor, it's not stupid at all, lots of people are afraid of being left alone. It's perfectly normal, but she does need to seek some professional advice.
Re: room alone phobia
She should see a shrink and i know what the shrink will do. Same thing they do to people who are scared of flying.
sir, if i may say so u sound like shrink urself. not any traumatic exp that i know of, welll what i do know of does not stand to be traumatic i think. and this didn't sneak up, ur right, its been there since always.
omd, what will the shrink do?
sehar, she did try what u suggested, but it didn't work any, why do u think her sis is a grumpy one these days - having to change rooms thrice at night and that.
Re: room alone phobia
Advise her to try some relaxation techniques too, but do them with somebody, things like praying, meditation, yoga, I can't think of anymore right now, but whatever she feels comfortable with. Also advise her to see her doctor, it's not stupid at all, lots of people are afraid of being left alone. It's perfectly normal, but she does need to seek some professional advice.
yeh i agree with u and sehar too, she has to face it sooner or later, though she's tried doing it but theyve been failed attempts really. the yoga sounds like a good idea, though i don't know how much would it help when experiencing fear? thanks for the input sehar, miss_m, dope, its much appreciated.
Re: room alone phobia
i had the same problem when my parents left. i couldnt sleep at night for months. but then i just got used to it. i think your friend just needs some time.
Re: room alone phobia
Fear is increased usually when we are not relaxed, so I think yoga could help calm her down, it doesn't have to be yoga though, this is why she needs to see her doctor, to gain some more advice and techniques. Her sister helping her needs to be patient too, especially if she (the lass who cannot sleep alone) does not understand her fear.
Re: room alone phobia
Miss Beep Beep is right, her sister needs to be accomodating. A lot of people take phobia very lightly, and it shouldn't be so. I have a friend who is petrified of dogs/cats. I'm scared of dogs too but i'm not phobic. When we'd be walking she'd see a dog and grab onto me and make run with her, or take me as a coverfront. No amount of comforting or reasoning would make her less anxious/fearful.
As Miss Mohabbat said, something relaxing as yoga/mediation/prayer would help but if all of the suggested don't work then she needs to see a shrink. Is her fear limited to bedrooms, or is she afraid of being home alone at nite? Could she sleep in the living room alone?
Re: room alone phobia
If all the relaxation and the "slowly adapt to being alone" does not work then:
Take a pill.
Get the physician to prescribe a non-addictive sleep aid that will calm her down and make her forget about being alone.
Re: room alone phobia
If all the relaxation and the "slowly adapt to being alone" does not work then:
Take a pill.
Get the physician to prescribe a non-addictive sleep aid that will calm her down and make her forget about being alone.
Re: room alone phobia
Tell her to start sleeping with the light on, darkness can instills fears in anyone. Once she's on her own, she'll adjust. It may be hard in the first, but she'll get used to it. I remember sleeping with the light on and waking up several times in the start but now, it's a thing of past (thank God)
She needs to speak with someone, not necessarily a shrink. Even reading all these posts herself on this forum. Lastly, she'll have to take a stand for herself. Fear is a luxury, she can afford it these days since hse has a sis to be with. Once she's all by herself, she'll adjust to it. Only, she herself can do it and no one else can! May God help her do it easily :)
Re: room alone phobia
sehar, she's afraid of having to be alone in *any *room. and it's only limited to the night time, she doesn't have any problems during the day, since it's only in the night that she's home neway, her work schedule is such. another reason why she's never keen on trying or trying to succeed in attempts at spending the night alone, she's too tired by the time the day ends and looks forward to a good nights sleep.
miss_m, her sister is accomodating actually, which makes my friend more worried since people are not that accomodating everywhere. yes she has now decided to see a doctor about this, it might be the only way.
shweetdreamz, so how did u deal with it? i guess the prospect of having to be alone was thrust upon you when ur parents left? its a somewhat similar case with her too, and it's looming large and scary since she will be in a new place and it wont be her own home she's putting up at.
yea muzna, sleeping pills might be a good idea as long as she doesnt start depending on them for getting any sleep?
Larki NY, thanks for ur kind words, :) ur right, lack of light freaks me out as well.
shukria everyone.
Re: room alone phobia
miss_m, her sister is accomodating actually, which makes my friend more worried since people are not that accomodating everywhere. yes she has now decided to see a doctor about this, it might be the only way.
shweetdreamz, so how did u deal with it? i guess the prospect of having to be alone was thrust upon you when ur parents left? its a somewhat similar case with her too, and it's looming large and scary since she will be in a new place and it wont be her own home she's putting up at.
yea muzna, sleeping pills might be a good idea as long as she doesnt start depending on them for getting any sleep?
Larki NY, thanks for ur kind words, :) ur right, lack of light freaks me out as well.
shukria everyone.
frankly fear is da mother of all fears
so there is a solution for your sister
best way to cope with this condition is to tell her to share
everything in her life with everybody even small talks she must
talk to everyone and relate her stories to family n freinds and whoever
she knows. Its a condition she may be suffering from some phobia related
to either people or lack of people or spaces or lack of spaces but i think n
feel this can be cured.
I wish i knew a lil bit more to understand her symptons and lapses if any
but shez got to mingle shez got to share shez got to express her feelings
her emotions let her mind be free so there is no fear in her of anything n
thus she can overcome her fears of being alone or in the dark or not being
able to cope with change. Let me think more i might have more insight on
this sad but awful situation .
One is the lonliest number that can ever be
two is better than one but sadly often can never be ( in some cases )
three is better than two but ...........to be continued ...... got to jet folks :(
Re: room alone phobia
shoor: i guess its just comes down to getting used to it. and when i would be dead tired i didnt have time to feel scared. i dont know i think its a somewhat trivial matter to be taking it to the doctor. an adult has to face their fear themselves.
in the beginning i would just switch on the lamplight if i felt scared in a dark room. then the same thing happened when i moved to a new house. but after i familiarized myself with the surroundings it went away. i will even sleep on my porch if i could now.
Re: room alone phobia
She needs to address the root problem behind her fear of being alone. A psychiatrist may be necessary. If it isn't that serious, she should sleep with a nightlight, take something to help her sleep, and perhaps listen to some Quranic recitation or something else that is calming while she is trying to fall asleep.
Re: room alone phobia
Since we are talking about phobia lets talk about my delimna here…
I am afraid to touch any type of animal.. Even cats, dogs or fish 
mein kia karon…
I so want to go for horse back riding but the thought of going near the horse is scarying me..help me folks or i wont get far with my dream of horse back riding 