This could be considered a continuation of Sara516’s thread.
So you consider yourself fairly religious. You may not practice it alot or know alot about your religion but you have the drive to learn and the intention to practice it more regularly (for example praying more regularly, making decisions in life based on religious teachings etc). You also wish to give your children sound religious upbringing and a more than that *a sound religious conscience *that helps them make decisions on whats right or wrong later on in their independent life. In short, you want them to grow up being succesful in life but you also want them to keep Aakhirat (the Life Hereafter) always in mind when making decisions in their life.
My question is, how important is it that you find a spouse who is just as (if not more) enthusiastic on this mission as you are. If you are a guy, what role would the above play in your decision to choose a wife. How easy or difficult would it be for you to to marry someone who does not exactly share your passion. What if the person you end up marrying is even turned off by religious talk, how badly do you think that would hinder your wish to raise your children accordingly.
Re: Role of your spouse in helping you pass down religious values to your children
My wife thinks I am way too religious and she doesn't enjoy too many religious discussions, so I usually don't initiate religious discussions unless she wants me to, but she doesn't mind if I mention any hadith or verse in between any discussion, infact she appreciates that. (Masha'Allah)
Other than that both of us have very good understanding and usually our perspectives match. (Alhamdulillah)
Though I haven't become a father yet, but my plan is to take the responsibility of my children's education MYSELF. I am planning to make efforts myself insha'Allah instead of expecting anything from my wife. Any favour from her would be additional bonus, by the grace and blessings of Allah.
Re: Role of your spouse in helping you pass down religious values to your children
Salam,
Well im not married or anything, but i know that if you're planning on teaching your kids religon, etc. etc. then you're gonna need your husband to pitch in! it doesnt work with just one parent because a child doesnt just look at one parent, he looks at both. Its like the principal and vice principal of a school..one says something andthe other disagrees/doesnt say anything. the childs gonna be confused.
Re: Role of your spouse in helping you pass down religious values to your children
oh, it is sooo important to have matching thinking, especially if the husband is not that religously motivated.
I know someone and she is really into religion, and Alhumdulillah she teaches her kids that as well, but her husband is the complete opposite! he tells his daughters to take their scarves off (besharam!), and he tells his kids to not wake up 4 fajr bcoz it is bad for their studies !?!
But Alhumdulillah their Mum has done a good job in explaining WHY its important to wear a scarf, etc... so when the Dad goes out shopping, his 13 year old daughter has to tell him that the chips he bought are haram :)
so the above scenario shows its doable, but its really hard on the Aunty cause she gets to hear her husband complaining all that time :(