I had a ristha come this past weekend. I knew him from work but our parents didn’t know each other. It went well, families liked each other.
I’ve been talking to him and he said that my parents ring them now to say they are coming over, but I thought they ring to invite my parents over.
I thought the guy is always the initiator. His parents ring to say they are coming over, if they like us, they ring to invite us over and then if that goes well, they ring to say we are coming for the ristha.
Have I got this wrong? What actually happens? When do you actually start planning the wedding?
So long as no one makes it about their ego, either party can call the other. The guy's family can call yours up and thank them for their hospitality and express interest/invite your family over. Or your family can call up his and indicate they enjoyed meeting his family and ask them what their thoughts are. This whole "what is the protocol" issue and ego issue is where things get messed up. Just don't plan the wedding until there is an official baat pakki and date set - the baat pakki is when his family says yes to the marriage and your family agrees.